Tag: reflections

celebrations, dare to be different

31 Days: The 2025 Edition

2chicksandapen

Oh the beautiful life we are given and the blank slate we have to write our story as we live each day. For this reason and many more I am continuing my tradition of my list of 31. The list that summarizes a glimpse of my month or 31 days each year. It’s fun to see what makes the list, but it’s just as fun to review the lists of years past.

It’s a great way for me to see that I am constantly evolving and also for others to take a peek and see if they are stuck in a way or maybe want to feel enlightened to try x, y or z. I’m always moving forward but I’m always looking back to remember how far I’ve come. 

1-I put a property under contract.

2-I closed on said property.

3-I planned a relocation.

4-i planned a trip.

5-I booked a massage.

6-I ate brunch with friends.

7-I made some new friends.

8-I read a new book.

9-I did some writing.

10-I did some strategic planning.

11-I made some donations.

12-I had many hard conversations.

13-I dealt with plenty of adversity personally and professionally.

14-I played tennis in the frigid cold.

15-I was a Good Samaritan in an ice storm.

16-I played in snow not once but twice.

17-I spent time with my mom being silly.

18-I spoiled my dogs.

19-I got a BIG ASS calendar for 2025.

20-I spent a lot of money.

21-I watched Trump take his presidency.

22-I went to North Carolina.

23-I was assigned Lori as my tennis alter ego.

24-I dealt with a leaky windshield for the first time ever in a car.

25-I sold two motorcycles.

26-I ate some good home cooked meals.

27-I initiated several new projects.

28-I learned how to connect a stove to a smart house.

29-I worked hard to bring home the bacon.

30-I played equally hard outside the workplace.

31- I started the countdown to retire.

This year I didn’t really elaborate on any of the 31 items. Not really sure why I kept it simple, but I just did. When I reflect on my state of mind this month I’m summing it up as happy. 

I’m a at peace with so many things in life. I’m finally settled into the role of empty nester. It has been a process to get fully untethered, but it was worth the wait I suppose.

The blue skies.

The less travelled road.

The quiet car rides to new destinations.

The allure of chasing the new in life.

The freeing feeling of letting go of things.

The warmth of a good cup of coffee and

the ambiance that it’s entangled with.

Just a few notes for me to recall down the road. Nothing fancy, but a blissful state of mind. Off I go into the sunset somewhere day dreaming of what’s near but also what’s far. Just a day in my life to share.

perspective

Let it Go

2chicksandapen

Recently I heard a comment about growth. I wasn’t thinking the growth was really my growth, rather the growth of another. Boy was I wrong.

I had to take some time to think about the growth opportunity. We were at a crossroads of sorts. Her learning to fly. Me letting her fly solo throwing caution to the wind. Whether near or far as a mom you always have a eerie sense of worry for your kid. It never really goes away. My mom is in her eighties and she still feels the worry of her kids.

Nonetheless,  adjusting my comfort zone to let another sink or swim on their own was as much about my growth as hers. As you have a child become an adult, you can only hope they remember every life lesson you gave them. Direct or indirect lessons of all kinds. The life experiences along the way. The life lessons that should influence solid decision making. That is just so easy to say. The reality is always much different.

Despite what you teach along the way, it is ultimately on them to find their moral compass. To make good choices. To surround themselves with a tribe that is good company. Sometimes this doesn’t happen on day one. Sometimes there are mistakes or bumps along the way as they spread their wings.

All you can do is guide, cheer and support from a distance. The passenger seat. You don’t get to choose their spouse. You don’t get to choose if they have kids. You don’t get to choose where they live. Your life and role in their life shifts. This is as much about your growth as theirs.

Girls may grow through this phase of life at different speeds than boys. No two kids are the same despite the same upbringing. I should know this myself just by looking at myself and my siblings as adults. So many differences yet same household growing up. Each of us took different paths. Each totally different lifestyles. None of which are wrong. Just different.

I’ve been at peace for a while on what I can control. What I can teach in the final days. What could be on the horizon. Once that peace is engrained in my mind, I am able to focus on what’s next for me.

This is my growth opportunity. New hobbies. Time to travel. Goals to achieve. Time to prep for my next adventure stage of life. Things will be different. There will quieter times. There may even be gaps in excitement. This is where I again need to refocus on what’s important for me now. How do I grow?

Cleansing my mind.

Letting go.

Closing my eyes to see what I desire.

The day dreaming.

The growth.

The opportunities.

My time has arrived. 

Her time of need is in the shadows.

Off to college she goes. Off to master life as an empty nester for me. Each flying solo in their way. Why did it take me to today to realize this? 

Off we go.

New chapters loading.

Out with the old.

In with the new.

perspective

Good Bye 2023

2chicksandapen

What a year. So many cool things came up on my radar. Many fun adventures. A few trials. A few set backs. Many lessons learned. All in all it was a good year.

I learned to play pickleball in 2023. A new sport for me. A new social group. I very much enjoyed picking up this new hobby. I even enjoyed getting beat by old people my first season in a league. Maybe a little humbling too.

For 2024 I’m spending time with the 1sE app a friend recommended. Basically documenting a second a day for the year. A picture or video or combo. Can’t wait to see what makes the reel. Seems like a fun way to rewind 2024 a year from now. 

I got a chance to travel a good bit in 2023. Spent time on the road with different travel mates adding to the adventures.  Travel by plane. Travel by car. Travel by RV. The variety kept things spicy. Some planned in advance. Some spur of the moment. Each memorable. The travel bug that hit in 2023 will continue in 2024. I’m feeling the need to explore on my horizon. New places. New experiences. Checking out the hidden gems along the way to each destination. Being present in my life journey while I’m able to enjoy it.

Fitness has been in the forefront in 2023 and will continue in 2024, adding a running goal for my special focus and long term goal. In 2023 I chipped away at 1 million meters by row, bike or ski erg and now I need a new focus. I was recently asked about the why of my long term goal. Since I have a short attention span it’s important for me to have a long term goal to chip away at. I might have to break it up into bite-sized pieces or add variety to get it done, but it helps me overall to have that focus in the background. Somehow I’m able to mirror my life and fitness balance in similar ways. Chipping away seems to work for me.

Friendship has been valued in 2023. Through the high and lows of life it’s good to have a solid group of trusted friends to help you sort through the chaos. Friends are by choice. Some stay awhile and others fade. I’ve seen friends fall ill, needing support while I remain healthy. I hope to continue to fuel myself so that I may continue to be a good friend to others in times of need. i don’t expect much in return but it’s nice to know I do have good friends in my corner. I plan to spend 2024 nurturing relationships that are meaningful.

Reflecting on the year was bitter sweet for me. I focused on thankfulness and let others know how valued they were. I wrote sweet notes. I gave away funny keepsakes. I made a point to impact others as the year closed out. It felt good all around. I even played Cupid in 2023 and the couple is still going strong. Such a fun and unexpected part of 2023.

Feeling free as I roll into 2024. Free of baggage weighing me down. Free to explore and enjoy life and its beauty. One day at a time. I guess I may choose to write a little along the way too. Just a glimpse of my reflection from me to you.  Wishing you all the best in 2024 and beyond. 

awareness

Community

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Every once in a while, a word starts to stick in my mind. I go from just hearing it in regular conversation to actually noticing it, thinking about it, and reconsidering it. Lately, that word has been community.

The first time I noticed noticing it was at a recent drum corps competition. I was a band geek in high school. Band is its own kind of thing. I haven’t been in band in decades, none of my own kids went that route, so just walking up to the parking lot where the competition was taking place was an immediate immersion in a long ago land of shlepping equipment, warm up scales, and oddball friendships. I saw the families wearing their corps fan gear like they were repping a major league baseball team. Probably 5% of the general population (at most) has a connection to this activity. But once you are in, you are really in. And it is a community.

I think about other communities I belong to. CrossFit. Street Parking. My school. And those I don’t…things like hunting. Swifties. RV travel / ownership. Most other sports. Online gaming communities. The list goes on.

What makes a community? Communities have their own rituals. For band, there is the preshow warm up, chants and cheers. Communities have ways to connect. For some it might be a facebook group, or extend to meetups, events like an RV or boat show, or coming to games / events and tailgating. Communities have a lingo….for band it might be drill, front / pit, drum major, section, and so on. They have official or unofficial uniforms. You have swag or hats or things to wear (real or virtual). Communities have boundaries. For band, that might start with auditions. If you’re in you’re in, but if you’re not you know that too. Communities have calendars, or, more specifically, seasons. In-season, off-season, certain challenges happening, etc. Communities have times of activity and times of rest. Times of preparation and times of activation / celebration.

In many, maybe even most, cases, community is a “feel good” word. We often feel positively about identifying with a community`. We choose to be a part of it and buy in to what a community is about. At times, a community can even go so far as to be part of our identity. I’m not a band geek actively anymore, but when I go back to those events, I look around and can feel the community vibe. It takes me back to a time when that was such a big part of who I was and how I acted in the world.

Why all this talk about community? Seeing the word pop up over and over again made me think about the communities I belong to, and which I don’t. Going on an RV trip with a friend caused me to consider how that activity is its own type of community with people who enjoy it all over the world. There are seasons, rituals, gear, lingo, and events. But perhaps the real impetus for this was when the word community was used as a bludgeon in a dispute.

For all of the virtues and benefits of community membership, there are those who will weaponize community in order to exclude, to diminish, to demonize. Community becomes a way to make people feel less than, left out, pariahs. The borders become more about “who isn’t” than “who is.” This reminds me of cults, when people blindly follow leaders of “communities.” The spokespeople who deliver messages from the community as a way of pressuring conformity. I’m always wary when someone speaks on behalf of a community. While communities share a lot, they are never homogenous. They are full of individuals who (hopefully) still think for themselves.

For every community we are willingly a part of, there are also those we avoid. We may even live inside the physical (or mental) boundaries of a community, but resist being a member of something with values, attitudes, and practices we reject. I was raised Catholic, but can’t support many of the exclusionary principles at its core.

What communities do you belong to? Which are by choice? Which are by happenstance? How do communities enrich your life? And which have you / should you resist?

challenges

Vouch

2chicksandapen

Imagine a tough set of circumstances land you in an unimaginable spot. You’re surrounded by challenges. Even lies. A smear campaign. What do you do? Who can you lean on?

Character. At the school where I work, we tell our students that character is what you do when no one is looking. When there is no one around, are you still who you say you are when others are listening? Do you do the right thing when no one will know or keep score?

I was recently reminded that character is also what you do every day when you are just living. It is how you show up in work and in life. Are you dependable? Are you honest? Respectful? Responsible?

Every day we are each establishing a track record. A pattern. From the moment we wake up until we lay our heads down at night. Every action matters. The old saying goes, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Sure, it’s not infallible and we all go through changes. But every day we are creating our path. Reinforcing who we are with what we do, what we say, and how we choose to spend our energies.

Think about the people closest to you. That may mean the people in your family. Or the people who spend the most time with, whether by choice or by force. How would you all describe one another? If someone had to give your eulogy, what would they say? If they had to complete a job recommendation, would they speak of you favorably? Are you living up to the ideals you set for yourself? If there was a line of people who spend a lot of time with you, how would they describe you? In a pinch, who would vouch for you?

Take a step back. Look at yourself. Your actions. Your choices. Even the little ones. Character is the accumulation of the everyday that becomes the picture of who we are. How will you be known and remembered?