awareness

Death Again

Twice in a week.

Two dads in 7 months.

2 kids in 9 months.

One community.

So much death. Such a far reach for those impacted. Lives altered. In the blink of an eye.

Plan ahead is something I have always done to the best of my ability, but I want to share that message. Make sure your will is up to date. If you have a business make sure you have a succession plan. Get life insurance. Death isn’t cheap. Know what your loved ones want should they pass. It might be hard to start the conversation about death but it’s important to know one’s wishes.

Cremation vs burial?

How to wrap up affairs?

Loss.

Grief.

Loneliness.

It all looks different for everyone.

I’ve thought a lot about living lately. Living the best life each day. Not being burdened with issues that really don’t matter to me. Finding time to do things that are important to me. Less have to’s and more want to’s. Just being present. Avoiding the negativity others can cast upon you.

We can never predict when death will hit us. We won’t know if it will be slow and predictive or fast and without notice. For me I want to go quick. I would prefer not to suffer. I also don’t want to be a burden for others to care for. That’s just me.

I also want to be remembered. I want those I have known to come to my celebration of life: I want my memories to live on in my photos and stories. If I passed today, I think I would have accomplished these things. 

How would you be remembered if you passed today?

Would you have friends or colleagues attend your services?

Do you want to leave behind a legacy or just become a moment that passes?

As morbid as these lyrics sound, they are true. They come from a country music song I heard recently with my mom. When you lose somebody close. A spouse. A friend. A child. You will grieve. You will will have moments of sadness and loneliness. But once it’s chiseled in stone it’s permanent. Make the best of today before your name is chiseled in stone.

I hope that after this post I can go a period of time without experiencing death again. Although it is my wish it may not be my reality. Only time will tell. For now I cherish today.

challenges, mental health

Carry That Weight

50 Miles Rucking in May

A vetwod challenge to benefit Stop Soldier Suicide.

Mental health for military members has been on my mind and heart for years. It was my focus of organizing and fundraising way back in 2019. I am not entirely sure why it tugs at my attention and effort, but it has, it still does, and it will.

So when Vetwod posted a challenge to ruck 50 miles in May, I put out a call to friends to borrow a weighted pack and I hit the road (and the trail, and the parking lot) over and over again.

Turned out I was able to borrow a pack from a veteran, which meant every time I put it on it held that much more meaning. Sometimes I listened to music. Other times I just walked in silence, as a sort of meditation. Often, when I walked the early morning miles, I would put my hand over his name and just send him and other vets positive, strengthening thoughts.

It’s really just walking with a few extra pounds, right? I never did weigh it. It’s true, after the first few days of putting the vest on, it didn’t seem extremely heavy. I did some really light jogging once I got used to having it on. Finding the extra time to ruck was the big challenge some days.

Even so, I certainly felt lighter every time I took it off. And my body told me, through tightened hips, sore back, and stiff legs, that whatever the weight was, it wore me out in new ways. Life was different when I wasn’t carrying it.

We recently wrote about burdens on this blog. Being a burden to others. The burdens we carry. This 50 miles of rucking made me think about how so many are weighted down in ways both visible and hidden. I was lucky to get the daily relief of taking the extra weights off. I could look forward to the feelings of lightness. What about those who are walking weighted in ways we cannot see? Through depression? PTSD? Weariness from taking care of others? Poor sleep from anxiety or nightmares?

I appreciate when my fitness efforts have an extra layer of meaning and thoughtfulness. A post for those, especially in military circles, who shoulder unspeakable burdens. May they find some relief, some lightness, knowing others care and appreciate what they have done.

celebrations

It’s Finished!

The little project has come to an end.

No more measuring.

No more cutting.

No more blisters.

No more sawdust flying around my face.

The cleanup was pretty quick. Kept some scraps for the next project. Returned extra materials to Home Depot. Emptied the trash. Ran a quick vacuum and packed up the tools. Snapped a few more photos. Finished. 

Time to use the newly updated 120 square feet of space. Finished in the time allotted. Somewhat within budget. Recycled materials were used. Ideas were reworked many times. A little helper provided some labor along the way. Many songs were listened to while jamming and working. Evening and weekends spent hustling in a different way. Rain days got in the way a few times, but not too many.

Two trips to Home Depot. A few cuss words. No emergency room visits was a plus. Some tools were borrowed. A small power saw was purchased but will be reused on another project. Winter will require a small space heater for warmth (see above). Spring and fall will have a nice breeze with windows open. Summer will have a small Room air conditioning unit. Built on a budget. Built to be used. Built by me. Not perfectly designed but it’s perfectly useful. A great experience to learn and see the fruits of my labor. 

As I wrap up this DIY project, I definitely have a new appreciation for the construction industry. I also understand why there are specialized trades such as carpeting, painting, ceiling work, trim work, electrical, plumbing, etc. It’s hard to be good at everything. So many chances to get injured with a momentary lapse in judgment. 

From nothing to something. Building away. Lots of different types. Carpet. Metal. Trim. Walls. Insulation. It sure was a fun experience to knock out this little project. Two more projects to go. One planned. One unplanned. Just the way life goes I supposed. DIY trims the budget and allows one to do more with less. That’s where I am at on these little fix it jobs. Elbow grease and positivity will get you far in these kind of projects. A willing helper goes a long way, too.

I didn’t even mind cleaning at the end. Gave me a sense of completion. Happy 2023 to you!

challenges

Construction Time

This fall I have some action Items on the to do list that seem to fall under the construction umbrella. Small upgrades to some spaces I need to repurpose. I figured I’d document the process to show others how upfitting a property or space can be done by the inexperienced but willing person(s).

First up is this 120 foot gem of space. Today it’s hollow and empty. The only purpose would be storage in today’s state. Soon to be A little office or other type space. Power is run already making this job seem pretty easy on the surface. 

Opting for carpet squares to keep costs down and really it’s all that’s needed for this space. I thought I had my square footage accounted for but the framing took up some space making me have to cut the edges of the carpet squares. I was focused on perfection. But didn’t need to be as the trim work would cover any near perfect edge.  It was a pain, but I did it and only ended up with one blister from repetitive stress on my pointy finger cutting that damn carpet. I was happy with the patchwork outcome. I really think it made the space unique.

Next step was the trim work. I opted for some barn Like wood I snagged at Home Depot. The cost was within my budget but kept with the look and feel I was going for in the end. Day one had me using a nail gun, staple gun, box cutter, hand saw, heavy duty clipping sheers and elbow grease. Carpet was down. Trim work was complete and the insulation process started. I had to cut my day short after the itchy feeling from the insulation got to me and my blister was a small hinderence.

now I am going to wrap up this post as day one comes to an end. I feel a lot was accomplished but so much more is still to come. The next step is going to test me with cutting of metal but I am very excited to be repurposing some barn metal into this project that I was holding on to at another property. More to come but I will give you a sneak peak for now.

Only time will tell what it looks like in the end and how I tie in reclaimed items with new. Stay tuned for my next do-it- yourself (dyi) update. Taking 120square of nothing and making it into a usable space with a little personality in a short period of time and little to no experience.

Once I practice on 120 square feet, I definitely have some bigger spaces to tackle. I guess part of me staying true to myself is to keep growing as a person and testing out what I can and can’t accomplish. Sometimes I may need a little help or guidance but in the end I can say I made this, my way. It’s also good to know I may inspire another to try their own dyi project.

balance

Dirt Road and Vines

Not all dirt road lead to wineries but on this fall Saturday my dirt road headed right to one of the cool wineries in North Georgia. Cavender Creek is just about an hour or so outside of the city near the college town of Dahlonega. Home to the University of North Georgia. Turning off the main road you drive a short distance on the dusty road as you see the vines in the sunshine.

Just beyond the vines is a little rustic oasis. I went for the sole purpose of sucking on their wine slushy flavor of the day or a swirl if they had more than one flavor while enjoying the ambiance. I was in luck. Pink Starburst and Lime starburst were the flavors to swirl on the sunny weekend afternoon. Perfect presentation with the twisty straw for flair. And it tasted just as good as it looked. One must always be careful not to suck too fast or that pretty slushy will go straight to your head.

Cavender Creek is set off the road a bit. It has an inviting outdoor space for socializing by fire pits and on the lawn. Another deck outside under cover. A back room with long white drapes reflecting the appeal of a sunroom. A cozy group living room in with many special setups of chairs, couches, stools and what not to chat in big or small groups. So much thought was out into making this winery inviting. All the way down to the rocking chair front porch. Such an inviting place with so many spots to unwind and chat.

For today I was at a table for two but with food for 3 or four. Assorted cheeses and meats mixed with some crackers and giant pretzel to soak up some of the wine. A little socializing. A little snacking. Some checkers to play. And I almost forgot about bumping into some folks I hadn’t seen in years. This place has it all from good food to tasty wines to cool vibes with all of their hangout spots.

This day was not planned to include a stop at the winery. It was full of to do’s and times to get to here and there. I opted for the scenic route. A pit stop. Time to breathe the fresh air. Feel the warmth of the sun. Get a little dust on the car. Socialize a bit and of course enjoy the sweetness of the wine slushy.

In the end the cup was empty but the soul was full. The pillow on my chair may have summed it up nice with the phrase:

This

Is

The 

Life

No questions about it. A beautiful day. An amazing destination. Kinship. I felt like one of the lucky ones today. Remember the u-turns in life sometimes yield the best and most unexpected memories. Below is a quirky decoration that was sitting on the vintage table next to me. Too cute not to capture.

Jackass may be the theme in the logo of this winery which adds to its curbside appeal. If in the area you should definitely give it a try.