Tag: growth

fitness and nutrition

Fresh Eyes

2chicksandapen

Sometimes a pair of fresh eyes can make you see yourself differently.

We had a new coach at my CrossFit gym.

First of all, I got to class late. I’m ashamed to admit this has become my norm over the past few months. I haven’t stopped to unpack why yet, but it was still embarrassing to make a first impression that way.

Next, he had already explained the workout by the time I got there. Every coach does things a little differently, but I wasn’t expecting to miss the whole description with my lateness. Yikes! And as a teacher myself, I knew better than to ask him to repeat it.

I kinda got the hang of what was happening, and launched into my usual scales. One of the movements was pullups. For some reason, the modifications I have become some comfortable with suddenly felt “less than.” I’ve been doing CrossFit for several years now and I am no closer to a pullup than I was two years ago. In fact, I’ve stopped trying to progress in that area. I just don’t really care…but in that moment, I felt a little bit lazy for giving up on it. Should I be content to just be a beginner in certain things for the foreseeable future? Does it matter? Why should I give up on it? Should I really be doing CrossFit if I don’t care about making progress and don’t even bother to get to class on time?

All these thoughts from a pair of fresh eyes on me. My usual coaches have gotten used to my actions, and maybe they just don’t try to argue with me anymore. They joke about my tardiness. They don’t tell me to pick up more weight or try something that will help me move forward. I’ve kind of stalled out.

Not sure why it left me rattled and thinking hard. No conclusions yet, but something I need to think about moving forward. What direction am I heading?

challenges

Wordle Sucks

2chicksandapen

I love a good word search. I love a clever word. I enjoyed Wheel of Fortune when I was a kid. I even like Scrabble. I generally like words, but my word depth is average at best. Now my writing partner is more of a word wizard. The one who knows all the words and their meaning in the English language. Me not so much.

About 15 days ago my word wisdom was tangled with my writings not with games.

Enter the stupid game of Wordle that I now play daily because I’m a bit neurotic. Yes, my oldest man child tossed me to the wolves on day one with the introduction. Didn’t really go over the rules but I muddled through it. I felt like I was playing Wheel of Fortune minus the fortune. He said he does it first thing in the morning to stimulate his mind. Okay, I said I will give that a try. I think he tricked me.

Those who know me, understand how much I dislike phone games. However, this was a way to stimulate my mind and enhance my word library possibly or that was how he pitched it. I fell for it. Well, I don’t have time to stare at a screen and get angry especially at the beginning of each day. This is mainly why I don’t turn on the news. 

Wordle has sucked me in and if I forget to Wordle I get that text reminder from 1 of 3 pals. It’s either a success or failure text. That sparks my curiosity. I have to try. Then when I complain about them contributing to my delinquency I get this.

Gal pal text:

It’s not a waste. You’re using brain power.

My reply:

I will add your commentary to my blog post. Input sarcasm.

The smarty pants friend chimes in:

I tell my students if they spend their days only doing things that are easy they aren’t growing much. Productive struggle is worth it.

Me:

Begins to pout silently.

Here I am about 15 days later scratching my head at why do I torture myself on the daily. Today was the same five letters and I had the last three. Sitting at the kitchen table on a rainy day. I actually went old school and took out my paper to eliminate options and I couldn’t see it. I knew it was obvious but just could get it. I had to put it aside and circle back.

I asked a family member if they could see the word and they said yes. Boy did that irritate me. Don’t give me any hints. I stewed and stewed. Giant. Grant. Plant. None of which would be correct. R wasn’t in the word bank. L wasn’t in the word bank. I wasn’t available. Stupid game. Stupid me. Why oh why do I continue.

Chant was the word. As annoying as it was, it was done. Now I will rise again tomorrow to start again. The madness. The annoyance. The challenge. The awaking. The brilliance. I am sure I will chant over and over how stupid this game is. 

Do you Wordle? Do you get frustrated? Who put you on the Wordle path? If you are not on it, I hope this post triggers you to try it. May you become as addicted to Wordle as me. I mean there could be worst things to be addicted to, right?

Wordle now makes me think of words differently. It’s also funny how Wordle makes it’s way into my writings. I guess we will categorize this as current events, the word edition since Wordle is all the hype at the moment.

adventure

Brave Enough

2chicksandapen

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Um….. why?”

I was walking out of work.

“Tennis clinic. You should come.”

Pause….

Then the textual parade of excuses… It’s my only night at home this week. It’s my laundry day. I don’t want to wait around for two hours. I’ve never played before. I don’t have the right shoes.

(Inside, the mental parade of excuses…I don’t like looking stupid. I’m uncoordinated and awkward. I don’t like not knowing what I am doing. Shit, I’m just scared to be bad at something.)

The the opposing thoughts chime in…I’m always grouchy when I’m not invited to things. (I call it a case of the “pouty-pout left-outs.”) But how can I be mad if I don’t take people up on it when they include me?

I took the long drive home, started my laundry, got my stuff together for the next day, then changed my clothes and headed back out to go to tennis. I’m not gonna lie, my mental soundtrack was a long grouchy list of complaints. I was not fun to be around, so it was good I drove by myself. “Will there be other beginners?” I asked in text. “Yes” my friend said. Ok. Now to just jump into something completely new. Deep breath and go.

I felt kinda thrown in the deep end. Drills started without the “this is the racquet, this is how you hold it, this is what the parts of the court are called” ‘Tennis for Dummies’ I expected and needed.

But, I just hopped in line, asked some women their names, cheered for them when they made a good shot, laughed at myself when I made (many) bad shots, felt sort of accomplished when I made the occasional good one…and just kept going. I laughed. I moved. I listened. I tried. I did something entirely new. And then, miracle of miracles, I did it again the next week.

It does take bravery to take on new things. For some reason, it feels especially brave to do it when you can just be old and set in your ways. But learning continues at all ages, or at least the opportunity to learn does. Keep those bravery muscles fresh and limber. Keep friends around you who push you to keep trying things. Be adventurous. Be willing to suck at something new. It’s the only way to eventually get better.

dare to be different, inspire

Creative Pop

2chicksandapen

Today was a creative day. A vision appeared. An interest was sparked. The expo marker was nearby as was the whiteboard.

Columns. Words. Colors. Ideas. A plan. A little commingling. A dream. The wheels are turning. The key players are engaged. The spark is ignited. Now it’s time to make it happen.

First is time. How to balance the new with what’s already on your plate. How to back into the time deadline. How to logistically make a-z happen with style, grace and of course a wow factor. So many details. So little time. Is it worth a shot? Should you take the plunge?

Nobody can ever answer this question because nobody has a crystal ball that works all the time. That means risk is involved. Hard work is needed. Maybe even some elbow grease and good luck. Here we grow again. What will be sprouting? Does it matter if you grow big or stay small?

I know I’m flipping ideas around daily. Looking for that nugget of inspiration. Seeking my next big move or small discovery. My adventurous ways always begin with pen and paper. Somewhere there is a shift into digital form. Paper. Pen. Ink. Color. Keyboard. Time to discover new shades of my abilities.

Hope you are along for the journey.

fitness and nutrition

Year 6: The Open

2chicksandapen

I was adamant I wasn’t officially participating in the CrossFit Open this year. The main reason for this decision is: I wasn’t feeling like I was in the same shape I was a few years back. Making me think I wouldn’t be happy with my results. I thought about it a good bit. I answered NO, when asked if I was participating many times.

Then I decided to log into my Open app. It showed my participation history and I had already invested five years in tracking my performance. Why not make it six years? Why not see how many years I can physically participate vs focusing on what number I am on the leaderboard?

This year I am 50. I hit a new age band. I had competed in RX the past few years but I have shifted to scaled workouts in most of my recent events. I also focus on going the distance or continuing to move through a grueling wod vs pausing. Slow and steady is my pace these days. It has taken me some time to adjust, but I have come to terms with being a scaled athlete. However, I strive to be the best version of scaled I can be. Thus I will see how I fare as a masters athlete in year six of my CrossFit Open history.

Another fitness benchmark. A couple of weeks of focus and self-motivation. A snapshot of my abilities at that point in time. A worldwide leaderboard allowing me to compare my peers worldwide. Why pass up the opportunity to get better?

Once my decision was solidified I decided to write this post. At the same time I glanced back at what I wrote last year about my Open participation. To my surprise I was on the fence about signing up but I did it. Just as I am doing again this year. Funny how my blog posts serve me purpose time and time again when I want to reflect on a subject. 

My vault is online. Cataloged for many to read. It is by no means all-inclusive memoirs however, the content is genuine. I write with feelings and undoubtedly express emotions to others in a very public way. I’m sure some will read this and the feelings are relatable. Others may lose interest and click away. It’s okay either way. 

As I want to end my evening with a dessert, I instead wrote this blog. In good conscience I will attempt to eat better for the coming days to prepare a tiny bit. Wish me luck. That translates to no dessert. Even if it was my favorite Kind bar frozen treat.