Tag: challenges

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Fresh

2chicksandapen

I recently spent some time on an island. To sum up the experience in one word I would say, blissful. Some may not grasp my definition thus I will share it in this blog.

Fresh air.

Sunshine.

Calmness.

Less chaos.

Soothing sounds of the ocean.

Fresh smells of land.

The few words or phases above could be expanded upon but I’m choosing to keep the post simple. Just like life on an island is, simple.

Morning bike rides amidst the car traffic. Nobody beeping at you to get out of the way. No hurried sense of rushing to get somewhere. A definite difference from my everyday. Time seems to move at a slower pace yet it’s still the same 24 hours each day. A blissful calm to my normal day in day out.

Th photo above appears to be endless yet the island is small. Can a water border translate or infer more of an endless appeal? Less cell phones ringing and chirping. Many are enjoying the sights, the sounds and the environment without being glued to technology. I always had the access I needed but the need seemed less. Sand beneath your toes by the water. Walking opportunities galore. Wildlife in abundance yet at a distance. The clearest of blue skies. Mystical sunsets. Colorful sunrises. A blissful calm in itself.

From the waitresses at the taco shop to the boat captain to the restaurant owner to the tour guide on a bike to the eco tour educator, to the Uber driver, all seemed to love their job. A genuine passion for their environment. It almost seemed crazy to interact with so many occupations that loved their job, their community, their lifestyle. Each one was unique. Each one seemed content. More so than the many I would interact with in my normal day-to-day. 

I don’t really have any scientific data to translate the why of my observations. Rather I chalk it up to island time. The island lifestyle. The don’t worry be happy mentality. Not so much about who is better than another rather let’s keep doing x so we can live the paradise lifestyle we want. Less frills. More thrills. 

If I had no cares in the world, I’d pack up and head to an island. I would have less but gain so much more. A fresh outlook is always soul refreshing for my mind. It gives me a chance to reset my horizon. Shift what seems stuck. I always relearn to appreciate what I have in front of me while mapping out where and what I really need in front of me down the road.

Breathing fresh air for extended periods of time can be healing. Getting out and experiencing nature can be calming. Experiencing new people, places and foods can be classified as growth. Try it!

Exercising the body and stimulating the mind in a relaxed environment can have exponential benefits. Both short and long-term.

A 5 day unplug from my computer (not smart phone) was exactly what the doctor ordered for me.

I feel fresh.

Renewed.

Re-energized.

Ready for what’s next. While one may feel guilty for escaping reality, the truth is stepping away is essential. This is your reminder. Breathe the fresh air more. Don’t stay stuck in a cubicle of life. Dip your toes in the sand. It will rinse off easily. Take a leap into the deep water. You can tread water longer than you think in life or in the ocean.

The more you break away, the more productive you will be for longer. The end.

challenges, fitness and nutrition

Thriller Lake

2chicksandapen

When a friend first sent me the link, I laughed. He was training for an ultra running event, and who knows why but he was looking for more. I am training for a 15k in January and slowly (slowly!) increasing my running every week. I jotted the date down in my calendar, thinking I would go and support him if he did it. But a little voice in the back of my mind also wondered if I could do the three hour event myself as part of my own preparation for January…

Finding the time and energy to run in this season of life has been harder than my ramp up to a half marathon several years ago. I’m not really sure why that is. Technically, I have fewer commitments crowding my calendar. Still, I haven’t been putting the volume of miles into my legs that I should be in order to feel prepared.

As the date crept up, I decided it was time to test myself. If I end up walking, so be it. I set the goal of 5 laps…each lap is 2.2 miles. 11 miles in 3 hours seemed possible. Most of my miles these days are between 15-17 minutes. With a few breaks and to allow for some slowing in the latter miles, 5 laps would be a challenge but I was determined to try.

Another challenge was the time of the event. I would be on the course from 5 pm to 8 pm. I am a hard-core morning exercise person. Lately I have been running a mile or two in the afternoons once or twice a week, but an all-out extended effort in the evening would be a stretch.

When the day came, I had told a couple of people what I was up to but not many. I’m inspired by this image from Compete Every Day.

I packed up my stuff. I ate some extra carbs. I showed up at the right time, grabbed my bib, and lined up with a few dozen other brave / crazy souls and away we went.

Honestly, the run was pretty uneventful. I have a good playlist. People were encouraging. I was several minutes ahead of my target times on each of the first couple of loops. Some runners had full tents set up with chairs and food and decorations. The official tent had trays of cold food and hot. The runners who were competing in the 6 and 12 hour events commented on the quality of the grilled cheese, quesadillas, and more. It had a Halloween theme so some people were dressed in costume.

Aside from cheering on other racers, my mind was focused on my time and my goal. From a “back of the pack” running group on facebook, I had figured out how to set my watch for intervals. I would run two minutes, walk one. I did this pattern for most of the event. My watch buzzed me every time I had to switch.

My trusty playlist kept me going. I even had some universe whispers from a friend who has passed on. He came to me in a group of songs that kept me moving when I was tired.

Other pleasant diversions were the signs some had made to encourage runners. There was a trick or treat fun run with little kids in costume. There were dogs. There were lights. A pretty sunset and a beautiful Harvest moon.

Lap four started and my energy really started to falter. My strength in these long efforts is usually being able to stay consistent even in the later miles. At least that was the case last time around. But I could really feel my lack of training after mile 8. Slower walking in my recovery minutes. Walking creeping into the running minutes. I could also feel that I hadn’t fueled properly. I ate more running chews than I ever have. I ate less nutritious, whole food than I ever do. Combined with running with a headlamp, I was slogging across the finish line of lap 5 but I had about 9 minutes to spare. It was all just guts and will for the last mile or two, but I met my goal.

Given the chance, I would totally do it again. It gives me a benchmark to work from. It doesn’t give me “back of the pack” anxiety since I’m working against a clock and not a finish line. So if I’m free again next year, I’ll do it. I’m also looking at scheduling a half marathon in the spring.

A few kinks to work out…how to fuel for an afternoon race. Shortly after I completed the run, I was overcome with nausea. It lasted for hours. I knew it was from the sugared, artificial nutrition I had taken in (oh, and caffeine). It would also be nice to have a friend or two on the course. Even if I don’t run at the same pace as others, it does help to have someone out there sharing the suffering.

I’m clapping for myself and looking ahead. The goal now is to get out and run more often. To spend more time putting miles on my legs. Training to get faster and better. By the time the 15k rolls around, I hope to be feeling much better about the experience.

awareness

NYC After Midnight Part 4

2chicksandapen

The night came to a close.

An Uber ride for 3 miles away was on the agenda. The app was showing a surge but the price was still around $30.00 which seemed fair. Then the craziness started.

Random men flashing the Uber logo to get your business. The catch was they were not real Uber drivers. $150.00 one shouted. I’ll get you are ride for $175.00. $100.00 over here. There were at least 50 gentlemen stalking you. In your face. Behind your back. To your side. It’s the dark hour. It’s the big city. This is crazy!

To think in that moment, how many out-of-towners or foreign visitors fall prey to these scams. I thought a lot in that moment of who I was with, how to be safe and how things would be different if even one individual is my party was different. How this situation could have shifted drastically.  Having street sense is so important when travel in a city, at night during very busy events. Just so much opportunity for misfortune can be lurking nearby.

We dodged that area. It took a minute but we went to a real Uber pick up area. Or did we? A spray painted sign leading to an underpass of the highway. That sounds safe, right? Before we even get close enough we decide it’s just not a good choice. Then the heavens open up. A fierce patch of rain hits us. Yes, we got wet. Once we escaped the flash rain we regrouped on a street corner. Well lit with a police officer sitting on the opposite corner.

Despite the calmness of the night, the well lit area and the police presence we were still a target or easy prey. Up rolls the late model small sized suv. The window goes down and says I’m your Uber. Really? No you are not. That’s why Uber has validation codes and labels showing it’s an Uber of Lyft vehicle for that matter. He was relentless. He turned off his vehicle and said, I’ll just wait until you are ready. I know you need a ride. Wow, just wow is all I could think of.

Regroup session #304 it seemed like. Headed back toward the corral of fake Uber drivers to see if the bus was still running its routes. That would at least be a bit safer than the other options. Then luckily our short walk landed us on the side of the street where the cab service has just replenished its line of cabs. A real cab. A meter. A photo IS. Phew. We found a viable option.

The cab smelled like urine and sweat. Luckily it was only a three mile trip. The driver was nice but offered a cash option vs credit card. One of the passengers opted for cash quickly. Little did she know that that meant he didn’t turn on the meter. He would in essence pocket the fare. In most instances it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I thought otherwise given the interactions in the last hour.

Would we make it 3 miles to our destination. If there was no record of the pickup who would know where were ended up. I had so many thoughts run through my mind. Maybe I shouldn’t think this way but I did. I had my antennas up and I was ready to bail from the back seat if anything went wrong.

I made it to my destination in one piece. I did learn to always be aware of your surroundings and make sure you have a plan with your travel mates. How to handle awkward situations. Who makes the final yeah or nay decisions when the group can’t decide. Who is most responsible and equipped to navigate a specific travel destination.

Maybe remote Idaho you don’t need to think about these things, but in a big city to another country you should definitely have a plan. You should also know if you blend in or stick out. That in itself can make you a target. Are you showcasing you are a traveler with a shirt for an event on and a gift bag? Are you an outfit maybe not suited for a everyday train ride? Are you a different ethnicity amidst a a crowd of different background?

Little things one may not want to think about. Just a word to the wise when traveling. Don’t be naive. Consider worst case scenarios and just be aware. Don’t hike in a remote trail on the middle of nowhere without leaving your itinerary with friends or family. It’s like pilots file a flight plan, subsequently we should all file a travel or excursion plan or at least share our location with others as a safety measure.

Just a random city post of what may or may not happen in the city at night. It could be in a suburb as well. This post merely uses the city as it was an actual experience lived.

I still love NYC even with all its craziness.

perspective, working women

A Womanly Week

2chicksandapen

It’s been a week for the record books in more ways than one. I wasn’t sure I’d write about the week but then decided it could be valuable to another thus I opted to share away. And keep in mind this is a snapshot in time of a woman in her 50’s. Not her 20’s.

There were fluctuations in body temperatures. It seemed I’d been hot in the middle of the night. Not able to sleep peacefully. Maybe even sweaty at times. Cold during the day. Bundling up as if it was much colder outside than it actually was. Did anyone else suffer these same symptoms in my home? Nope. Did I look crazy? A bit. Was I sick? No. Well there you have it, my irregular cycle appeared. That in itself explains so much yet so little. This is part of my stage of life that is summed up as absolute fuckery.

The angry phase hit more than once this week. The shortness of patience was ever so present. The general irritability was constant. The need for space from people was daily. All of it. Mid life crisis at its best. Emotional roller coaster. High and lows. So much blah. There was push back from some around me. There was silence from others. Neither I’m fond of, but neither is experiencing my loads. Therefore those who don’t walk in my shoes cannot judge me.

Then there are the outlets. I ran some this week. I don’t care so much for running yet running seemed to free my mind from all the excess baggage it had this week. This is mental baggage. Not even the physical baggage associated with bloated in the stomach area or just inflammation in general from the craziness of an irregular cycle. Writing such as this is therapy as well. Settling my thoughts to find some method of the chaos. Whether I publish or not, I write.

Then I read an article about working women. All that a woman is expected to do and bear the title of mom on top of it. Big sigh. Yet nobody refers to a dad as a working dad. Such an irony. Thinking about this on top of everything else at times put me over the edge. Women get the short end of the stick. Balancing work / life / parenting while maintaining a household. Doctor appointments, medicine pick ups, school conferences, and and and.  Many dads go off to work and just focus on a singular task for the day. Women have fireworks going off by the minute in contrast.

Running helped me this week. Going to the gym was a godsend. I might have performed the best I had in a while. Not sure the main reason for that but it was the outlet that was needed for me. Lift heavy shit. Run alone. Life is heavy in this season of life. Many can’t relate to one’s highs and lows thus lifting heavy shit helps me cope. Running on the other hand let’s me breathe the air. Recycle the airflow from within.

All of the above enabling me to deal with the stupidity of others. Giving me patience to watch others make mistakes. Showing grace when I literally want to dope slap somebody. And then there is the big one. Swallowing my pride when others crumble. I want to help many. It can be most difficult to watch one crumble or fold in front of you. It’s hard but sometimes it’s a needed step for others to grow despite it killing you a bit inside.

All while the above was circulating my week, there were also nightmares. Very distressing nightmares specific to immediate family members. Had one come to fruition I would be a basket case. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. However, it was a rude awakening of what could be. Why did I have these flashes and not the ones most directly impacted?

Whatever the reason, I had to feel all of that amidst my sleep which was already erratic. My days became longer. My wakes became harder. My time became less productive. My mind raced all the time. My week was summed up as unsettling.

The good news is I’m still here. I’m refocused to a certain extent. I’m ready for a scenery break to fully reset my mind and body. Don’t ever underestimate the change in surroundings. It’s often said you become what you surround yourself with. Success breeds success. In order to grow or shift out of a funk of any kind you need to pivot. Step away from the ordinary to experience variety.

Make sure you have a slush fund of sorts for your mid life crisis moments. Maybe it’s a new pair of shoes you splurge on. Maybe it’s a weekend away. Maybe it’s a trip of a lifetime. Maybe it’s just a cute pair of earrings you always wanted. Heck you may even want a sexy photo shoot.

Just do it. It’s self care. Therapy. The headaches, heartaches and shit will still be where you left it when you come back. I promise. The shit pile doesn’t go away. The break just helps you look at the shit a little differently. Life is all about perspective.

My perspective sucked most of this week. A little fresh air. Some pampering. Time away from annoying people. Socializing and exercising with people who share my fit lifestyle all helped in my reset. I slept a little sounder last night. I appreciate my life a little more today.

I am that girl working through this mid life crisis mess. Some days are easy. Some are not. Some weeks seem fun. Others seem ever so long. I’m not alone. Many struggle. Many women struggle. I’m writing today to say it’s okay. Whatever stage or phase you are in, you will push through it. It may be bumpy at time but that’s life.

Women are designed to endure.

Women are extremely strong.

Women make the world go round.

I’m convinced.

challenges, family

A Letter to My Daughter

2chicksandapen

She is strong.

She is smart.

She is persistent.

She is determined.

She is generally reserved with her feelings, but on this day, she called filled with frustration. Her new schedule brought unexpected challenges. Things that were once easy were impossibly hard. Huge classes, hard to get around. Too much to take care of, not enough time and energy. All this after the patience and persistence and hard work finally got her to the place she had wanted to be for so long. It had been different at her previous school the year before. She hadn’t expected to be happy there. But now, finally settling in at the school of her dreams, instead of happily ever after, she was met with one annoying plot twist after another.

What’s a mom to do? When you can’t be there? When you can’t just make her dinner or sit with her on the couch? Mostly, I just listened. I let her share how hard things were right now. With classes, with meeting people, with time management. With little things like eating well and parking and taking care of her dog. I gave any advice I could. Mainly, just keep going. Get up and try your best every day. It will get better.

She was calmer when we hung up. But I was shaken. I was sad. I couldn’t sleep well as I was thinking about her.

When I stopped pretending to sleep in the morning, after my workout and getting to work early, I sat outside and wrote her a letter. Page after page poured out. More mom advice and reminding her who she is. That girl I wrote about at the top of this piece. And how she is never alone.

Think of your future self, I told her. What will make your future self proud? In 5 years, will you be happy you kept going and gave it your best or that you gave up when it was hard?

I think about my future self all the time. When I don’t feel like meal prepping for the week, I know my future self will appreciate healthy food so I push through my laziness. Same with setting out my clothes for the next day, going to the gym, and a million other little decisions I make. I do it to make my future self happy, proud, or even just to make her life a little easier. A little planning, a little forethought, and life just goes better.

In a couple of days, things seemed to be a little better. We all have those rough patches. Maybe it’s a day, a week, or even longer. Pick up the phone and share it. Let people listen and help give you a little perspective and wisdom. The people who love you don’t want you to suffer, and definitely not suffer alone. Finally, things have a way of getting better with time. Believe it.