dare to be different

Booty Shorts or Ass Eaters?

 

 

And so the story begins just like this…..

The nice weather is coming which means it’s time to reach into the shorts drawer. Oh no, nothing cute and fashionable is in there! I guess I just need to sweat my butt off in those leggings again. And please remember I sweat all the time when working out.

Three unlikely paired friends sync up on a Saturday morning. One with thick thighs, one pregnant and one with an amazingly cute figure. This all equates to small, medium and large or x-large buns. Yup buns-hun. Ass cheeks, booty, butt and so on.

Enter the convo on booty shorts and the brilliant idea to get matching ones for an upcoming competition. Oh, how much fun it is to shop for booty shorts! So many choices. So many options. Flair, flair and more flair. I almost forgot to mention the three girls noted range in age spanning about 20 years.  To put things in perspective those small, medium and large/x-large booties come with thighs attached and some have more mileage on them than others.

A decision is made. Lemons it is.  Big, juicy lemons on the teeny tiny booty shorts. A pinkish color to warm your heart for the sunshine weather that is fast approaching. I will have oversized lemons she said. I will have a muffin top another said. And the other said I’m so damn excited. The shorts arrive in a few short days as does the excitement and giggles. There is even a matching lemon (boobie) shirt. I am going to refrain from sharing that photo but it completes the outfit for all three of these ladies.

They fit! Surprisingly they are amazingly comfortable in the mirror and on the booty. I do my squat test in the mirror and all seems okay. Size small wears hers the next day. Compliments flow like a normal day because, guess what? She sports booty shorts all year, as in 300 plus days a year. No big news here but the new pattern is super cute.

We giggle some more and decide we need more matching pairs. One for each workout in the competition. I know we are a bit crazy but we said let’s just do it. Just like that we order a couple more pairs. What is wrong with us. Retail therapy? This time we go for cheetah print and pineapples. The cheetah were a bit outside my comfort zone due to the simple fact I am the one with the biggest butt or real estate one would say.

The new shipment arrives. I immediately gravitate to the cheetah print. All that print but I was dying to wear them. I never would have guessed it! The next day was the grand reveal. Oops, those mirror feels of comfort didn’t account for movement. Holy cow they ride up on my Clydesdale-like thighs! They ride up and you already saw the white of my legs. Holy moly the white of my thunderous thighs, oh my.

Too late. I already committed. I ironically meet a friend when I get out of my car at the gym. “What’s up, bootylicious?” she shouts. I was already like dying inside and now that she called attention me I was surely rethinking my wardrobe choice. Then the door opens and it happens. The shock and awe of “what the heck are you wearing?” from the crowd of regulars.

Oh, so many raised eyebrows. So many neck twitches. And just a few comments and giggles. I didn’t expect anything but I’m sure if somebody wore them aside from me I would be the first to make a snide comment so I moved on. The warmup is guess what? An ass bender. Yes, indeed it was. Pretty much every stretch or scoot imaginable that had your ass in the air with a gym mate behind you. The thoughts in my head are horrifying to say the least.

Did I scare the others in the gym for life?  Did they see more than they needed to? I scoot to the back of the group to be sure. I feel a chill. An ungodly chill in my rear leg/butt/crotch. What is it? It’s the rower! The poor guy finishing his row from the class before was literally air conditioning the entrance way by my thigh – every time he pulled the rower handle the air blew up my shorts. Yup, I had to move around again to avoid the chill and embarrassment.

All of this happened in just a few short minutes of my 1 hour class. I survived. My size small friend arrived and we were able to twin it up with our cheetah girl shorts. The jitters left and I owned my body and all its jiggles. The shorts were amazing in many ways. I even had the freedom to move and conquer a movement I was working on all week.

Today is just another Saturday where the small, medium and large/x-large girls connect for their Saturday showdown. A triplet trial run of the lemon shorts before our competition next week. How will it go? Will the same shock and awe happen out of the gate? Will the air conditioning issue arise again? Only time will tell.

Did we burn eyes with our lemon shorts or did we make refreshing lemonade? I think we each rocked them in our own special way. A terrific trio had so much fun flaunting their buns. Thank you Feed Me, Fight Me for the amazing comfy bootilicious shorts. What a beautiful Saturday it is when you spend time with friends laughing and being silly. #loveyourself

I hope you enjoyed this short story about my ass eater booty shorts. It’s meant to show that I test my limits often and I do get nervous sometimes but I mutter along. I push through. There are worse things in life than busting out of a pair of booty shorts.

I am starting a bootylicious challenge now. Hoping to get others to step out in those short shorts and shine their thunderous thighs no matter what size or shape they are. Pictures to follow in the coming weeks of the booties.

Until next time……

Part 2 is here!

Ahh this story continues. Of course it does. The life of the traveling booty girl shorts!

From time to time we may write a post but let it simmer for a while for whatever reason. It might not really be done or we just don’t want to post it for whatever reason. This story fell into that gray area. Do we post it? Do we hold it? Does it serve a purpose?

Time passes…..

After my first few pairs of 3″ booty shorts, I went with a couple of more conservative 5″ booty shorts for the days I run. Don’t need to have any chafing issues! and they work like a charm. No riding. No chafing. SUCCESS!

Now I get a coupon. The infamous coupon to buy more. What a sucker I am! Enter the blue shorts with white stars. I just had to have them since I think I am shining star on most days. I adore these but others find it funny when my stars expand when I bend over. It’s okay….I embrace the attention and commentary. I am such a big ham, that I can easily reply with the bigger the stars on my ass the bigger the stardom I am destined for. That normally makes people want to walk away horrified to say the least.

Then there are the donut pair. These may be my favorite pair. I don’t even really like the taste of donuts but they are fun to wear for sure. And what makes them so special? You can watch my donuts rise…..when I bend over. Too funny I know. On the serious side, my feed me fight me booty shorts are extremely comfortable and versatile when squatting, jumping and basically doing anything in the box. No matter what chuckles I may get, they are fully functional for me and that is what matters. My meaty thighs need the short shorts to get through the hot summer workouts without sweating up a storm in the gym. These shorts are also perfect for under a fun summer dress too. Talk about multi-purpose booty shorts. And if your dress does happen to blow up….well all one will see is donuts!

Then it happened! Chick 2 jumps on the booty short bandwagon. A few others did as well and that was exciting to see. Ok, so she insists on the 5-inch inseam.  So they may be more bike shorts than booty but I wear some 5-inch shorts, but they are still a far cry from the below-the-knee leggings she usually sports. A huge leap from the comfort zone but she did it. She did it with class and sass!

Her side:

It happened on a Tuesday morning.  5 am class.  Those poor people!  Maybe they’ll be too bleary-eyed to notice. (Chick 1 nods, I doubt it.)

Well, I run into a friend who immediately notices that I am wearing shorts.  What was it that gave me away?  The glaring white of my spongy thighs?  My embarrassed glances and slumped “don’t notice me” shoulders?  Who knows.  But, it was class time and I was getting it done. No turning back now.

Running was great in them, and I mean great.  It’s SO HOT running (even at 5am!) and it felt great not to be hemmed in by longer leggings.  But, they did kinda roll up on the third round of the run.  Still, an overall thumbs up.  And no one suffered shock from the sight of my thighs!  A relief.

I invested in 2 pairs but there will likely be more in my future.  I stuck with basic gray and black but maybe branching out into brighter colors will come in time.

Being comfortable is such a benefit when you’re sweating and working hard.  Feeling good matters. Check me out rocking a pair at my next Saturday class.

As this story unfolds, the beauty of women around us explode. Let’s take our friend Kim. She is amazing in so many ways but she is now rocking some booty shorts and she looks damn good in them. As a grandma in the over 50 crowd, she is setting the tone for so many. She inspires me to stay fit and keep pushing so I can be as asstastic (yes I made that word up) as her in my 50’s. Check out my pal Kim working on her booty in her booty shorts all while wearing a fashionable booty while her foot recovers from an injury. Everyone who is making up an excuse of why they can’t work out should just look at this picture and say I can do it, too.

As we wrap up this post, I leave you with you can do it to. Get fit, get moving, and most importantly get that ass in some booty shorts. Even if you start in the comfort of your own home. Be bootylicious or asstastic today.

At the end of this story you can see that even the most confident people challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zone. Be brave. Be fearless. Be you. Be-booty-licious!

 

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