Tag: friends

challenges

Make Today Count

2chicksandapen

Life is full of emotions.

One day you feel amazingly accomplished. The next day you can feel deflated as if your world just crumbles beneath you. It’s life they say. How do you deal with the ups and downs of life?

A week doesn’t go by without the craziness of friend or family member in turmoil. Emotionally distraught. At wit’s end because of x, y or z. It can be hard to be the person to shoulder all this weight from many different angles and or people. Exhausting at times.

Tomorrow is a new day. Never let today’s worries weigh down your tomorrow. You have to be able to reset or your burden will continually grow until the weight can’t be carried further. This is normally where emotions are high and people say things they regret. It’s inevitable.

Do yourself a favor. Worry less about changing others and change how you react to negativity. You can control your attitude. Your actions. Your emotions. You can’t control those things in others no matter how much you try. 

I feel good today.

I felt good yesterday.

I felt good the day before.

Why? Because I wasn’t carrying the burden of others. I may have shared in the burden by listening to their challenges, but I didn’t carry the weight. I offered support. I will continue to offer support as much as I need but I won’t do the heavy lifting.

I’ve written about givers and takers in life before. I see it often. A good example is the friend who needs your shoulder often. You give it often. However there is never a return gesture. They never ask how you are doing. They never ask if you need anything. They talk but don’t listen. They take but don’t give. Most often these are the folks that carry the hefty mental and emotion burdens. Guilt. Hatred. Fear. Judgement. All of it.

I choose to start fresh. Not a care in the world each day. It may be for 5 minutes or 5 hours, but I start fresh. I make today count. I may not always do the things on the to do list. I do however find a way to do something on the ta da list. Sometimes planned. Sometimes not.

Start fresh.

Start again.

Don’t live with regrets.

Make today count.

Make today count for you because you only control you.

awareness, mental health

Pinch Me

2chicksandapen

This can’t be real.

Another tragedy less than a mile from home.

A friend. A coach. A dad. A family man. A volunteer. One of the good ones. Gone too soon. His life taken selfishly by an angry man. Senseless act of destruction that will wreak havoc near and far.

I don’t have the words to show how much I will miss this guy. His music play lists were always amazing. His love for his wife was always showing. His dedication to his kids was without question. He service to his community was ever so selfless. His smile could be seen all the time. Intelligent. Charismatic. Loyal. Taken away from all who valued his presence. In the blink of an eye.

Our community has been hit by loss. One on top of another. The same small circle of teens are impacted for a third time in less than a year. How much can they take? What kind of world are we living in when people find their solution to their problem is through violence. 

I am sad.

I am mad.

I am lost in the world of today.

Is goodbye in the morning the last time you will see your family? Who wants to think about that as reality? Strangely it’s the reality of today. My co-author wrote about the violent murder next door earlier this year. I thought that was crazy. Then the sheriff shot a man with a BB gun next door to my mom’s house a few months later. If either of those things were not just random and close enough to me, yet a another murder happened to a good pal who was a law abiding citizen working at his desk in his office.

This world we live in today is crazy to say the least. I don’t take any day for granted post-corona. No way. I travel. I live life to the fullest. I write the stories of life here and there to share. It is my hope that in your area of the world you are not seeing as much violence as me.

3 murders this year, wow. Just wow.

2 vehicular homicides this year, wow. Just wow.

I’m beginning to think there is a curse floating in the air I breathe to be so close to deaths over and over again. Violent and senseless deaths.

Saying a silent prayer for society today.

adventure

Buckshot and Gil

2chicksandapen

Two rednecks.

One bus.

Comedic relief.

This is what you get in Nashville, Tennessee when you book the Redneck Comedy Bus Tour. It was definitely a memorable event. Everything from camel toes to child rearing jokes and anything in between all with redneck flair.

Buckshot was the lead comedian but the driver Gil had some great punch lines. His silver flowing hair from the seventies added to the show as did the beer belly and Pabst shirt on Buckshot.

I will never think of going to the bathroom in a woods again after this show. Something about a mud missile shooting out one’s rear and bear trap clenching the front side. Riding around and around and around the roundabout with the naked statues while the Redneck bus load chanted “boobies and dicks” will also forever be burned in my mind. I know this is art, but thinking about how many pass this with kids in the car crack me up since all I hear is boobies and dicks!

So many laughs indeed. Just what the doctor ordered. Laughter. I wanted to see the smiles. I wanted to hear the laughter. I wanted the fun time. The unexpected laughs. I got just what I wanted. A few bonuses at the end included the redneck sign challenge and a free flight at Old Smokey Moonshine. More unexpected fun and laughter.

If ever in Nashville check out the tour bus. Read the reviews. You won’t be disappointed. Ask for Buckshot and Gil.

celebrations

2-2-2(3)

2chicksandapen

Ah a day of twos on the calendar. And when I thought about writing about this day of twos I genuinely thought it was 2/2/22. Little old me had a brain fart. I forgot we are in the year 2023. That could be due to my sleep deprivation. Oopsie. Well I’m still writing about my day of twos with a 3 on the end.

A tennis match is set on this day. Rain got in the way. No outdoor fitness for me today. Too bad. Too sad. I guess I won’t go 0-2 or 2-0 in tennis today. Way too much rain today.

Today is the second day of my birth month. I already got a cool gift on day one. Can’t wait for day two of surprises. Maybe it’s no surprise today. Maybe I’ll surprise myself with a gift. That’s kind of fun to do too. February is always a fun month for me. Valentine’s Day. Birthday. Holiday thrown in for a day off. A short month. I do like the month of February. It also the only F month which also coincides with my favorite four letter F word which just so happens to be my word of the week.

A sequence of twos in the date. And three just dangling on the end of the date.

Maybe even a little bit of a lucky twos day.

Too bad it’s not Tuesday too.

For today I’m opting to write a few notes about my day of twos. For today I am focusing on happy. How to incorporate happy into every waking hour of the day. Not that I don’t choose happy other days, rather I’m choosing to document happy hour every hour today. Just because.

I didn’t know I’d start with 2am but here I am at 2:08 am on a day of twos. Odd that I was startled at such an hour. Odd that I decided to write. But here I am. Here is the proof above of the time stamp this all began. I have many items to tackle today this why I’m probably awake. Thinking and rethinking the best path or route for the day. I’m tired of course but my mind isn’t settled to rest. The delicacy of this dilemma.

I guess I will hope for two hours of deep sleep before my real waking day of two begins. I guess you will need to read on to see how the day of two unfolds. I sent my first happy gram out via text. Since I’m focusing on happy today I figured I’d use my 2 am hour to make some folks smile first thing in the morning. Task one is done for me.

I didn’t plan to be awake at 2:22 am today thus I will consider it my calling. I am not making a wish for this magical time of awareness on 2/2 it 2:22 am. My own little moment of weirdness.

How many times can I do things in two today?

I put on my two shoes before 8 am. It was cold outside this I opted for two layers of shirts. Well a long sleeve and a sweatshirt. Then I decided to take out my deck of magical profanity affirmation cards. I picked two at random and delivered them electronically to some special people in my life. Fun. Snarky. Spontaneous. Just part of the day of twos. The one below ironically had a mirrored image showing two….

My day ended up getting tanked with a lot of random issues that all piled up in the morning, in the afternoon and the rain pretty much shot my evening plans. That means less cool things to write about today. That leaves with a little wisdom to share.

Start your day off with some positivity. A note to a friend. A text. A phone call. A cup of coffee with a friend. Find the fun or happy in every hour despite the shittiness that can pop up. This way no matter what shit storm hits your desk or plate in the day, you still win because you started your day off with happiness. I also know a friend wrote hand written notes to some key friends this week. One was of particular importance. Never miss an opportunity to share your caring self. If you get the time to write a personal note, card, letter just do it. You will be one of the few who take the time to stroke a pen with a purpose. This is my two cents on this day of twos.

challenges

Time

2chicksandapen

I try to be generous with what I have. I love to buy people gifts when I see something that reminds me of them. I give to causes that mean something to me. I am lucky that I can even afford to lend you 50 bucks if you need it once in a while.

But there is one thing I am kind of stingy about.

My time.

There’s a saying…invest in land, because land is the one thing they can’t make any more of. I’d argue that time is also in that category. The thing with time is that we also don’t know how much we have of it, which makes it even more precious. Before we know it, it may run out.

I am guarded with my time. I never have enough. Lots of responsibilities and things to look after…my family, my job, my property. I invest a lot of time in my health. Time driving, time cooking, doing chores and errands…seems like there is very little left once everything is more or less taken care of.

Sometimes this means I look wishy washy when people make plans. Sometimes I just wait until the last minute. I preserve my time for me, just in case.

If I give you a bit of the time I have left, that really means something. I value you enough to give that precious resource that I try to guard very carefully.

So here’s the rant-ish point of this post:

Don’t waste my time.

I was recently in a situation where someone asked me to spend a morning on something for them. I reluctantly agreed, since it really wasn’t an activity I cared to do. But I kind of let myself be bullied into it, and was crabby about it all the days leading up to it. I wasted a bunch of energy being mad about it. And then, with very little fanfare or announcement, the event that I had been grouchy about got canceled at the very last minute. Like, very last minute. Meaning I had already showed up to attend and participate. So there was no chance to regroup, reschedule, refocus. Tasks that could have been taken care of on that rare quiet weekend day were put off.

Maybe other people have more flexibility with how they spend their time. Maybe I’m just a grump. But I was so damn angry after that I could have just screamed. I think I did scream, actually. I shook my head and grumbled for many days, I know.

My lesson for me: just like money, don’t give my time away if I care if it gets wasted. If I’d be angry if they don’t come through, just say no. Also, be brave enough to draw those boundaries even when I feel bullied by people who are supposed to be family or friends. No one cares about my time as much as I do. Nor can I expect them to.

What’s funny is most of the people who I would willingly give the time to are the very ones who wouldn’t dare to waste it. Maybe that’s part of what creates trust, understanding, and friendship.