Tag: poetry

awareness

The Morning Chill

2chicksandapen

Rise and shine it’s morning time.

The morning jingle may say rise and shine and but my body and mind say otherwise. There is a slight chill In the air. A crisp feeling it seems. All the covers seem so comforting. Each dog is curled up in their cozy sleep position. My surroundings scream warmth yet the air just above is just chilled air. Less inviting air in comparison. The irony of life.

It’s December. The mornings hit a little different these days. The house is quieter. The chill in the air seems to hover just a bit longer than even a year ago. Maybe the chill resonates with life and aging. Today is the weekend which allows some flexibility. As I rest under covers I decided to jot down a few notes about the experience.

Some days it’s a one foot in one foot out kind of morning. Today is full coverage. Every toe must be covered. A snuggle up day. I may even have an extra layer whether it be for warmth or straight snuggle power. A little dog paw in the distance is ever so blissful. It’s almost as though I’m watching a child rest as an infant but nowadays and a four-legged child to observe.

How life runs so fast then slows to a turtle’s pace. Sometimes this feeling appears on the weekends while other times it could just be a chilly winter weekday. A candle burning or coffee brewing would add to the ambience yet I have no desire to fetch either as the chill in the air says oh dear you just stay here.

Yes dear. I will stay right here.

Do you ever have a morning chill like this and choose to just soak it up? I do believe I consider morning chills as a self-care moment.  Little book to read. A note to take. Just a little solo reflection time in a warm and comforting setting.

The sun is beginning to glisten on the windows. The heat is running leaving a simple flowing sound of heated air pouring out of the vents. A dog sigh may slip in here and there and to me that’s their version of of the morning the chill. Their peaceful time of zen with their person. A deep sigh is a sign of a full heart to me.

The regular morning creatures are adding to the morning soundtrack. A slight crackling for the deer grazing just outside the window. A dog barking in the faint distance for a neighbor miles away. The ticking of the room clock. It’s no Trans-Siberian Orchestra but it is my little musical piece for today.

I’m saying yes dear, I’ll stay here in my room but my tummy is now adding a grumbling sound to indicate hunger. Now it’s time for my deep sigh as I head off into the day light of today.

challenges, fitness and nutrition

Summer Surprise

2chicksandapen

This summer I got a big surprise!

A red cast on my dominant arm covering my thumb following my forearm until two fingers from elbow. Talk about a major inconvenience for a busy girl. Brushing teeth now becomes a big effort. Just squeezing out the toothpaste and unscrewing the top of the tube is hard.

Reframing life in an instant is hard. Cutting up foods is not safe all of the sudden. Teaching yourself to eat with a fork in your non-dominant hand is comical and messy to say the least. Missing out on fun with friends is a big bummer, too. I figured I’d take this time to scribble my woes so I could giggle about them later. I do love a good reflection post.

My google search term has been “how to remove a fiberglass cast at home” on more than one occasion and that’s just within the first 24 hours. Pretty sad I know. I feel trapped in this thing. Sweating isn’t fun at all in a cast, but neither is showering. When I mentioned the toothpaste above I wasn’t kidding. However that is easier than soap in the shower, shampoo or even shaving. The list of oh craps could continue for a good bit.

The pickle I wanted from the jar today was soul crushing. The simple twist required sweat to drip from my eyebrow! I did find a good use for the cast at the grocery store…. Lining the plastic bags on the cast to carry to the car. It was like a coat rack for groceries. I did also break a nail at the grocery. That was just another item to log here as a big sigh moment.

The questions you get are also comical. Did you break your arm? No I casted myself for attention and inconvenience. I wish I was that talented or creative. The reality is I suffered an injury and the doc says the cast will help me heal. Time will tell.

My thumb is what I miss the most. From the selfie-pushing finger to gripping of the mouse for your computer. The thumb is what I miss the most. That thumb can grab your clothes when you dress.  It’s just a crucial piece of your day and you miss it when it’s not available.

Want to test drive what it feels like to be me sidelined, go a few hours without your dominant hand and thumb. It won’t be fun. Rather, it will be humbling. Of course you need to try all the hard things required to live each day.

Life is real. Some days it’s adventures. Some days it’s heartaches. Today it’s just hard.

And a bra is really the hardest part of my day at the moment. It’s very much a love hate relationship, use your imagination.

challenges

12:03 am

2chicksandapen

The clock was ticking away in the silence.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It seemed slow then fast. Loud then soft. It was so annoying. I heard the breathing of my dog. Every little sigh. The rest of the house was ever so quiet, but my mind was racing.

Racing on much to do about nothing. Yet I couldn’t fall asleep. I tried the sleeping mask. I tried soft relaxing music. I tried to empty the bladder. Every possible trick was tried. The efforts were futile.

Funny tummy grumbles picked up after a while but I wasn’t willing to go for the midnight snack. More ticks. More tocks. They almost gave me a dreadful headache. Blankets on. Blankets off. Try to sleep on the side. No the back. I don’t even think hanging from the ceiling fan would help.

Yawns begin yet my mind just can’t shutdown properly. Much to do about nothing. What a night. Early to rise tomorrow and somebody isn’t going to be happy or full of zest. Drank some water. Still not sleepy.

In the distance an owl is stirring. Whoo. Whoo. With a slight gurgle in the whoo. Or maybe it more of a whistle-like whoo. It’s definitely an owl yet I can’t express in words the tone or tune of its call in the wee hours of the morning. It’s there. Nearby of course. Doing its thing. One ear is hearing the owl while the other is focused on the ticks and the tocks. Some dog sighs sporadically sneak into the rhythm of the night’s symphony.

Every once an a while a car or truck passes in the distance. Not heavy traffic more like a lone car here and there that I hear the acceleration of. Such a quiet night for me to hear these sounds that I miss every other day. Today they seem to be accentuated. For my pain? For my pleasure?

As the minutes turn into hours I start thinking about how to be productive. Shop on Amazon. Write a blog post. Make a packing list for my next trip. Counting sheep didn’t work, the darkness of the mask didn’t work. Nothing was helping me sleep today.

I will never know the root of my sleepless adventure, but I will remember how tired I am tomorrow. Signing off as a sleepless soul of the night. I’m sure many others are floating in their thoughts somewhere.

sleeping face hopeful for sleep in the coming hours.

challenges

Where There’s Smoke…

2chicksandapen

You know the saying.

And on that early February morning, there was smoke. And all that goes with it. And my in-laws were wakened by firefighters rousing them in time to get away from the danger.

By the time I arrived on the scene, hours later, all the flames were extinguished. The smell of smoke hung thick in the air. Water from the hoses still swamped the weathered tile. Where there had once been weddings and birthday parties and rehearsal dinners and showers, there was now charred wooden beams and fallen insulation. Memories of what used to stand.

I have never thought of fire as one of my fears but I still didn’t need to linger long in that space. I didn’t want to remember it that way. The very sight of the destruction just repulsed me.

I watched our family review the scene. My daughter was immediately shaken. “Things can be replaced, people can’t” I said, over and over again. I meant it. But that didn’t change the feeling of loss. It is hard to see a place with that many memories just go up in smoke.

Now the work of rebuilding begins. I try to frame it as an opportunity – it will come back better than ever. In the mean time, our family schedules and rhythms shift. Some of us have to be sure to get our steps in when it used to come through the course of work. Sleep interruptions are more frequent. Minds race with very different concerns than before.

I am reminded to be grateful that everything can be fixed. And to appreciate what we have while we have it. And especially, to appreciate who we have while we have them.