I’m really here. The caboose is off to college. Out the door she goes. A little empty feeling floats through the air at home as I wonder how her first sleep will be in a new place with new people. Her new family. Oh how I know the sun is shining on her new horizon which makes me happy and at peace.
Our journey to this point has been long as an athlete. A different decision making process for college in itself. Physical preparations amidst your regular college prep to do list. Maybe even a longer wait for the big day since you commit to your school almost a year or more before traditional students. Lots of shopping for that first apartment. The colors. The materials. The personality of the room. The common space decisions. What budget? She needs it all! I soaked in the whole experience from start to finish.the basic space below must be transformed.
Then the day arrives. A few nerves the night before. A little sweat to move in. Maybe a little stress making the first dorm room a home. Gelling with new housemates. Settling into a routine. A new life. A big future. From the plain dorm shell to a vibrant room ready to make memories in. One semester at a time.
Off she goes.
Off I go.
Two new chapters being written.
Life is beautiful at each stage. Living the moments with others is cool. Sharing my experience virtually with my mom was a blessing. Having her see her granddaughter launch into a new chapter. So very different than my mom’s chapter back in the 1950’s. Such a great reflection for all.
Smiling big as I close out this post thinking about how my role shifts to cheerleader from a far. A mom and her girl. Grown and flown.
I’m in the last first or first last of many things with my youngest child. The caboose of the family. The last first hurdle to adulthood. The last year of high school. Life with a senior. The to-do list is so very long yet I feel like I will blink and the time will be gone. Memories will remain but the chaos I once enjoyed will now be all hers. Soaring solo or just without mom and dad. Why does it seem harder with a girl? With an athlete?
Last first trip of summer.
Last first flight for the season.
Last first summer tournament.
Last first parking lot adventure.
First last event.
First last adventure.
First summer job to juggle in the mix.
First of many solo flights to new places.
Last first trip to Baltimore, Maryland. I certainly won’t miss the rental car hub in this town. The long bus ride. The long lines. Just won’t mind missing this destination each summer. I’ll gladly trade this spot for a tropical paradise. That means as she finishes her last firsts, I begin to see how my new firsts will come to light without the have to’s of summers on the go with kids.
First of many goodbyes to players and families we have spent years traveling with. Those we even see at the events from other states. Some girls have trips that conflict with the hectic summer schedule. Some have changed their priorities from sports to other interests. Some have jobs that won’t give time off for travel. Most of the girls will go different ways their last year of high school and then to different colleges. Some may never really be social again. While others may be new besties. So many emotions. So many changes on the horizon. So interesting to observe.
Wrapping up one journey. Starting many new firsts as you end many last firsts. I knew these days were coming yet I had no idea what each would feel like. This last first was a little gut punch. Each meal seemed different. Each car ride the chats seemed more forward-focused. I had no idea how the experiences would be different. A coach summed it up today with: Take the picture. Smile for the picture. Celebrate. Have fun. Both kids and parents should savor this time before it’s history. These moments won’t be here again. Enjoy this time.
The girls look older this summer. More womanly. Experienced in ways I can’t explain but it carries to their gait. To their spoken words. To their plans ahead. The conversations have changed from what college to who their perfect roommate will be. What the dorm room decor will be. Where they must travel to for spring break. What they need to do solo on their final summer. I can’t lie. It’s fun to watch. It’s an experience I will cherish.
What powerful words to think about. 18 years of building. 18 years of momentum. Then what? A shift. A realignment of sorts. I have one foot on gas and one foot on the brake. I want to freeze time yet I want to speed up time to see what’s next. It’s not my life but I’m still going to be cheering. I’ll also still be there ready to wash the stinky socks. Pack food for the dorm room. And just whatever is asked of me. Because I still want to be a part of the chaos.
To explain life in this moment is hard. However as part of being honest in posting for our readers it’s a part of life worth sharing. A raw part but one experience I share that may be helpful to another approaching this stage of life. My mini me is almost grown up. She has definitely glowed up. Now just needs to get some independent experiences under her belt to be ready to conquer adulthood.
That first job.
That first paycheck.
That first time spending her money. It hits a little differently. That item might really not be worth it for their money now. I am sure she doesn’t see the view I see and that’s okay. One day she will be in my shoes. For now I’m looking forward to exploring my wide open spaces while I see her enjoy her new spaces and places.
Stay tuned as my months ahead turn into days left before she is off. I’m leaving the journal pages blank for now. Waiting to see what fits in and makes the story book.
9 weeks on the road this summer. From Florida to New York and everything in between. Then for giggles clear across the country to Oregon. Sometimes the same route more than once but with different stops along the way.
Travel by plane. Travel by car. Travel by train. Travel by RV. We utilized Uber. We took advantage of Turo. We took many unconventional paths. We lived so much through our experiences. Turo and Uber were our app-worthy summer accomplishments. We even had some time to use bikes. So many memories. So many hiccups along the way. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Good company.
Great experiences.
Countless fun.
So many photos.
It wasn’t always easy, but it was always workable with a positive attitude and a lot of flexibility. Work. Play. Recover. A delicate balancing act for some. A day in the life for me. I will never get to hit rewind on these months I just lived. Knowing that made me forge ahead to cram as much into the calendar as as humanly and financially possible.
Sometimes I had to plan and then re-plan. Things didn’t always go smoothly. I lived. I learned. I outlasted. Summer 2022 is in the rear view. So many college campuses were scouted out. Many highs. Many lows. Some visits at the surface level while others more in-depth. The process is real. The decisions are hard. The challenge is ahead.
My youngest will choose soon. Where to go. What she wants to be as an adult. I will become less needed. I will be an empty nester. A title I don’t really care for but yet one I will look forward to at the same time. As I earn that new title I will embark on new journeys and adventures. Maybe not criss-crossing the county in a summer but maybe exploring cities I’ve never been or getting back into putting stamps on my passport.
I’m adjusting to what’s ahead while enjoying what’s in front of me. Years become months. Those months turn into weeks. Before you know it, days are in front of us. Don’t waste the minutes. Value them. Cherish them. Enjoy them. I know I am.
As my mom always says: live life to the fullest. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
For now I wait for the day to come that she decides where she heads off to beyond her days of high school. Close by? A neighboring state? Across the country? Another country?
I see an abundance of blue. A sea of Carolina Blue near and far. Maybe some white but far more blue. University of North Carolina blue. That soft powdery-colored blue that is easily recognizable as the UNC symbolic color. Nestled deep in the heart of Tar Heel territory on the UNC campus, it’s hard to miss the waves of blue everywhere.
I am here for an event which involves the wearing of the university colors and uniforms. Trying to find a needle in a haystack is a good reference for finding my kid in the sea of blue jerseys. My child is one of of 400-500 immersed in an elite field experience for the sport of lacrosse, which she loves. Last college event was big but not this big.
Hundreds of highly skilled athletes looking to standout while improving their individual and teaming skills on such a big stage. Such an experience to live through as both an athlete and a spectator.
My lens is clearly the spectator but obviously I couldn’t be more proud of my athlete. Spending hours on the field for days with new faces and personalities. Determining if a college athlete life is for her or not. Learning how to adapt and overcome while avoiding injury as well. Training on and off the field. Fueling the body for competition. Resting the mind amidst finals and semester-end deadlines. Challenging herself to be a better version of her. It’s all relative. It’s a process. It takes dedication, determination and a bit of badassery.
I’m a copilot of sorts. The errand girl. The roadie. The fan girl. It’s still a hard job. Navigating maps, finding fields, lugging gear, packing sustainable food for energy, being prepared for any weather, traveling to unknown places, finding accommodations and so much more. I’m in the muck of it all. I’ll wipe tears if they are shed. I’ll pull out the bandaids when needed. I will snap the all the photos allowed to capture the memories as well. I even deal with the nasty attitude when fatigue sets in and nobody is watching but me. No shame in my game/role.
It’s also funny to wade through the cemetery of bags, sticks, jackets, coats, sweats and so on. Where else could you experience the awkward smell of stinky feet and body odor in the cool crisp air? These are the memories I will cherish no matter how gross they sound in my writings.
Our crazy schedule is not for the weak at heart. We spend many days on the road. We spend time away from family and friends. We wake up early. We get into bed late. We battle rain, snow, wind, cold and heat. All to chase a dream. Her dream at the moment. A dream many may not ever achieve and many may never attempt. This is our journey or path right now. Our time together. Wherever she ends up she will know I supported her dream.
As I wrap up this post I take a deep sigh. Reflecting on how grateful I am to be able to take this walk with her. To support her. To praise her efforts. It’s a one of a kind opportunity for both of us. I share this post to provide a glimpse to others who may not have the opportunity to see this lens of life.
Fourteen states she has played competitive lacrosse in. The sport of lacrosse has allowed her to meet people and see new places while mastering her performance as a woman in sports. I’m not sure how many more states will be visited as she narrows down her college wish list.
it was an early rise day trip. 80 degrees was the high but it wasn’t 55 yet early in the morning. I opted for layers this day. Had the snacks and drinks packed and ready the night before. Off we went.
We caught a before sunrise glimpse in the distance off the glistening water of Lake Hartwell in South Carolina. Not really planned but much enjoyed beauty. It was a mostly quiet ride in the car being as it was early in the morning and nobody had coffee. I planned for a long bike ride around the campus of Clemson University to kill time however my bike had other plans for me. My air pump didn’t work and my rear tire just wasn’t feeling like it had enough air to lift my load on this day. A let down of sorts but off to do other things I suppose.
A little fitness adventure course caught my eye on campus. I gave that a go for a little bit. I wasn’t great at anything but I gave this new piece of equipment a try in its various fitness activities. From the monkey bars to pull-up bars to ab workout. It was all interesting, compact and free for anyone who wanted to give it a go. I thought that was pretty cool.
After that mini sweat session I strolled around a bit. Watched some games going on. There was plenty of orange color everywhere. Circled into town. Grabbed some souvenirs. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much orange in one place before even at a pumpkin patch. It was interesting to say the least.
Had a nice lunch in town. Checked out the sights. Saw some graffiti art. I stopped at a cute bagel shop and I ordered the Mr. T. Who could resist a turkey and cheese bagel sandwich named after the one and only Mr. T from the A-team. What a flash back to childhood.
Today represents the first of many road trips as I enter the college touring circuit with my youngest. Mixed emotions but definitely looking forward to the travel adventures to see what her future journey may look like. Many new roads ahead. Making the memories that will be cherished for years to come. Capturing and documenting every bit of story along the way.
Sometimes my readers will have a front seat with me. Other times I may just enjoy the solo ride. Either way this one one of many first for us as a duo. The road to college is interesting.
2 Chicks and a blog 