Tag: observations

Uncategorized

The Support Role

2chicksandapen

Recently I got a chance to reflect on a few variations of those in supportive roles and the value of such roles.

At my recent competition two families had young adults supporting their parents at the competition. They could have done other things but they instead chose the supportive role. It meant a lot to the participants and it reconfirmed the already strong bond between young adults/parents. The value of this support can’t be overlooked.

Then there was the photographer at the event. The unpaid position that captured amazing moments for many who couldn’t take their own photos because they were in action. This support role provided joy to some and a replay of efforts for those who like to take note of good or bad points in their performance. A job nobody really signs up for but everyone wants the benefits of.

The concession stand worker at the local sporting event. An unpaid job. One that takes a person away from maybe watching their own kid or socializing with other parents. The last job anyone really wants to volunteer for. Yet despite the lack of participation on the volunteer side, many are ready to buy, eat and complain if things are not perfect. Thus the concession stand volunteer is the unsung hero. The thankless support role.

The parent. The guide. The nuturerer. The lecturer. The disciplinarian. The enforcer. The constant support role. Despite the importance of the role, it’s probably the bottom of the food chain on any given day. The volunteer role that comes with no instructions. 

When I sit back and think about any support role, I think of thankless jobs. I think of how we should all be more grateful to others who give time to any support role. A coach, for example. The food pantry helper. The people who help put smiles on the faces of others because of the support they give.

Take a look at your day. Your week. Your environment. How many supporters do you have around you? Have you thanked them lately? Do you in turn support others?

I recently went to cheer on a friend for a tennis match. It was a new vantage point. For me as an observer, it was a fun time to just watch and cheer for another. It meant something to the person that asked me to attend and thus made the time worth it. Supporting others can can be rewarding for both parties. 

I think years ago I was less supportive as an individual than I am today. In time I have matured to focus on others before self. The fact that I write about this confirms my growth in this area. It also implies my intent to help others realize the benefits of supporting others. Give it a try. 

challenges

Vouch

2chicksandapen

Imagine a tough set of circumstances land you in an unimaginable spot. You’re surrounded by challenges. Even lies. A smear campaign. What do you do? Who can you lean on?

Character. At the school where I work, we tell our students that character is what you do when no one is looking. When there is no one around, are you still who you say you are when others are listening? Do you do the right thing when no one will know or keep score?

I was recently reminded that character is also what you do every day when you are just living. It is how you show up in work and in life. Are you dependable? Are you honest? Respectful? Responsible?

Every day we are each establishing a track record. A pattern. From the moment we wake up until we lay our heads down at night. Every action matters. The old saying goes, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Sure, it’s not infallible and we all go through changes. But every day we are creating our path. Reinforcing who we are with what we do, what we say, and how we choose to spend our energies.

Think about the people closest to you. That may mean the people in your family. Or the people who spend the most time with, whether by choice or by force. How would you all describe one another? If someone had to give your eulogy, what would they say? If they had to complete a job recommendation, would they speak of you favorably? Are you living up to the ideals you set for yourself? If there was a line of people who spend a lot of time with you, how would they describe you? In a pinch, who would vouch for you?

Take a step back. Look at yourself. Your actions. Your choices. Even the little ones. Character is the accumulation of the everyday that becomes the picture of who we are. How will you be known and remembered?

family

Sunday Funday

2chicksandapen

The light at the end of the tunnel. The journey to the tunnel and everything in between is what I call the fun spot. The cool adventure that I had with some special people in Andrews, North Carolina on a Sunday funday outing.

A rail ride. A little self-propelled. A little power assisted. Just a cute little concept that fuses new technology and old equipment creating a fun adventure for those willing to give it a go. A fairly simple concept or build out, but one you don’t see everywhere. On this day I traveled with my mom who is 83 years young. It’s harder for her to see the outdoors these days. Especially off the beaten path due to mobility issues as she ages. This ride was perfect for her but also for me.

The scents of the blooming flowers. The fresh cut grass. The various scenic views. The mist in air at times. The wind in your face. The sun beating on you between the trees: the experience of nature. Fast. Slow. Giggles galore. Many photos taken. Many memories made. Cow sightings. So much exploration packed into a two hour tour of 5 miles or so each way to the tunnel. We had the perfect weather. The best attitude for adventure. Great tour guides and railroad crossing guards.

A little break for a snack and exploring in the tunnel or by the stream. Such a fun experience to share. No detail was missed. If you are ever in Andrews, North Carolina I would definitely recommend this experience as a fun afternoon with family. Four to a cart. All physical abilities can make it work. That might be something I just find important to share. An enjoyable day away that meets the need of all abilities.

We planned ahead and packed a lunch for after our ride. It was a perfect ending to our outing. Munchies at a nearby picnic area. Set nicely by a stream with beautiful blooming flowers to add to the ambience. Two thumbs up for this girl. This is a family-owned business and they clearly take pride in their operation. Give them a look if you are in the area. Heck make it a day trip. 

This post is dedicated to the gorgeous lady in the black hat pictured above. For she turns 84 today. Glad she checked another adventure off the bucket list this year.

Uncategorized

Last First or First Last

2chicksandapen

I’m in the last first or first last of many things with my youngest child. The caboose of the family. The last first hurdle to adulthood. The last year of high school. Life with a senior. The to-do list is so very long yet I feel like I will blink and the time will be gone. Memories will remain but the chaos I once enjoyed will now be all hers. Soaring solo or just without mom and dad. Why does it seem harder with a girl? With an athlete?

Last first trip of summer.

Last first flight for the season.

Last first summer tournament.

Last first parking lot adventure.

First last event.

First last adventure.

First summer job to juggle in the mix.

First of many solo flights to new places.

Last first trip to Baltimore, Maryland. I certainly won’t miss the rental car hub in this town. The long bus ride. The long lines. Just won’t mind missing this destination each summer. I’ll gladly trade this spot for a tropical paradise. That means as she finishes her last firsts, I begin to see how my new firsts will come to light without the have to’s of summers on the go with kids.

First of many goodbyes to players and families we have spent years traveling with. Those we even see at the events from other states. Some girls have trips that conflict with the hectic summer schedule. Some have changed their priorities from sports to other interests. Some have jobs that won’t give time off for travel. Most of the girls will go different ways their last year of high school and then to different colleges. Some may never really be social again. While others may be new besties. So many emotions. So many changes on the horizon. So interesting to observe.

Wrapping up one journey. Starting many new firsts as you end many last firsts. I knew these days were coming yet I had no idea what each would feel like. This last first was a little gut punch. Each meal seemed different. Each car ride the chats seemed more forward-focused. I had no idea how the experiences would be different. A coach summed it up today with: Take the picture. Smile for the picture. Celebrate. Have fun. Both kids and parents should savor this time before it’s history. These moments won’t be here again. Enjoy this time.

The girls look older this summer. More womanly. Experienced in ways I can’t explain but it carries to their gait. To their spoken words. To their plans ahead. The conversations have changed from what college to who their perfect roommate will be. What the dorm room decor will be. Where they must travel to for spring break. What they need to do solo on their final summer. I can’t lie. It’s fun to watch. It’s an experience I will cherish.

What powerful words to think about. 18 years of building. 18 years of momentum. Then what? A shift. A realignment of sorts. I have one foot on gas and one foot on the brake. I want to freeze time yet I want to speed up time to see what’s next. It’s not my life but I’m still going to be cheering. I’ll also still be there ready to wash the stinky socks. Pack food for the dorm room. And just whatever is asked of me. Because I still want to be a part of the chaos.

To explain life in this moment is hard. However as part of being honest in posting for our readers it’s a part of life worth sharing. A raw part but one experience I share that may be helpful to another approaching this stage of life. My mini me is almost grown up. She has definitely glowed up. Now just needs to get some independent experiences under her belt to be ready to conquer adulthood.

That first job.

That first paycheck.

That first time spending her money. It hits a little differently. That item might really not be worth it for their money now. I am sure she doesn’t see the view I see and that’s okay. One day she will be in my shoes. For now I’m looking forward to exploring my wide open spaces while I see her enjoy her new spaces and places.

Stay tuned as my months ahead turn into days left before she is off. I’m leaving the journal pages blank for now. Waiting to see what fits in and makes the story book.

friendship, Uncategorized

The Day the Music Died

2chicksandapen

It was music that bonded us.

One of the ways I volunteered for my daughters’ high school sports teams was to be their announcer. I didn’t mind being on the mic as many others do. Over time, as we would travel around to watch at other stadiums, we added touches to make the game experience more fun at home. One of these was a great playlist. I had been a DJ in college as well as a multi-instrument musician, so I loved doing this. But it was honestly too much to manage between music and announcing the game. I was so grateful when one of the moms on the team texted me in the early part of junior year, asking if I would mind if her husband come up and play music during the game. What a relief!

He made an instant impact on the game experience with his wise, witty, wonderful music choices. This man, a busy professional, constant volunteer, and dedicated family man, had taken the time to think through choices that would enhance the game experience and make the fans and players happy. A little thing that made a big difference. As an avid playlist maker myself, I loved it.

I didn’t really know him all that well before he came up and took that spot next to me in the booth. Off the field, he struck me as a truly solid friend and family man who always had a smile on his face and an affable spring in his step. On the field, I respected him…he had coached my daughter several times and was an uncanny balance of demanding and supportive. In one of my earliest memories of him, he pulled me aside one night on the rooftop of a random hotel as all the team parents socialized around a bonfire on one of those many summer club season trips. He told me how to help my daughter achieve her dreams. Totally unprompted, he came forward with advice and counsel just because he liked to help and encourage the girls he coached and cared about. Him in a nutshell.

Over the years we spent side by side in the booth, we shared many moments of elation, frustration, puzzlement, and awe as our daughters and their teammates took on opponents.

We also shared many laughs as we tried to match songs to the situations on the field. All were funny…even as some were borderline cheeky or a little inappropriate. All the “rain” and “storm” songs we would play to an empty stadium while on a lightning delay. The songs abut waiting while the refs had long discussions about calls. Special songs for different girls on the team. Songs about shots, misses, winning, etc. It was like a little game of name that tune. A sing along we had in the press box. Taking turns to see if we could name the artists and titles. Who could think of a song to match the situation. Dancing in our seats. It was the music that bonded us. And the love for the sport, the team, and our daughters.

He is gone now. Murdered in a senseless act of violence. The void he has left impacts many.

As I miss him, thoughts of him come to me in songs all the time. When I am working out, listening on my drive….there will be a line and boom I think of him. I often smile as my eyes well with tears, thinking of those who miss him and the legacy of service he leaves behind. Cheers to ordinary heroes and the moments they make in the lives of many. We miss you, my friend.

… Kudos, my hero
Leavin’ all the mess
You know my hero
The one that’s on

… There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary.

-Foo Fighters

Cheers to ordinary heroes and the moments they make in the lives of many. We miss you, my friend.