Tag: growth

awareness, challenges

Divorce

2chicksandapen

The D word. The word many find impolite. The word many hide from talking about. I suppose that is why I decided to blog about the topic.

In life the word divorce comes up a lot. I think the latest stat shows 44% per google for 2022 referring to marriages that end in divorce. Keeping with this it’s healthy to talk about it. It might also take time for those getting divorced to process and work through the life changes.

In any situation many have to weigh pros and cons. Dividing wealth. Separating living spaces. Was infidelity involved? Are kids part of the equation? Was there a trigger that caused the road leading to divorce?

No matter where you start the process. No matter where you end up after the divorce. You will move on. You will prosper in time. You will find your way. You will be able to spread your wings again. I have hope for you. I have hope for your soon to be ex-partner.

Difficult roads are ahead but in time the path will clear for both of you. Strength, resilience, and positive attitudes will help ease the heartaches and headaches as you move through these uncharted grounds.

To all those out there starting this process, amidst the chaos of divorce, living the aftermath, or even co-parenting. I see you pushing forward. I see you making strides. Never give up. There is a place for you in this world even on your darkest day.

Should you know somebody struggling in this area be a good listener. Never cast judgment until you have officially walked a day in their shoes. Which of course is impossible. Be that person they remember that loved them when they didn’t love themselves the way they should.

Make the D word more about your growth than your past. Your past is something you learn from your destiny still lies ahead. The future for you is brighter than you know.

3Splitz Farm, awareness

Turn the Page

2chicksandapen

Restless again?

Time to turn the page.

While reading Matthew’s book (noted below) I came across many similarities. For one I had just passed the page about his hometown of Uvalde, TX when the mass shooting took place. He spoke about fond memories of a vacation spot in Navarre Beach, FL where I am set to vacation in a week. He mentioned the great experiences of taking his Airsteam on the road and living the care free while I was riding in my RV reading his book. It was as if I was meant to read this book when I was reading it.

And his cover photo. The look of pondering. A daily view for me. And then there was a little blurb about being restless. The story of my life. Always chasing sparkly objects. Always looking for the next adventure. Always chasing what’s ahead. Never dwelling on what’s behind. The forward progression. Always. 

Turn the page is what I took from the between the lines message or invisible ink. Turn the page in your book. Keep going. Keep moving forward no matter what. Maybe the weeds in life may grow and tangle your best life but they are just weeds. They grow to test you. They teach you, if you listen. When you turn the page new weeds of life may sprout to test you again. They may even teach you a different lesson. Just turn the page.

For me today I turn the page for many things. A new time in life (season). A new basket of experiences through the lens of an RV. A new financial experience after consolidating an investment portfolio. I have weeds, literally and figuratively in front of me, along side of me and so on. I choose to look past the weeds. Everyday.

The weird lesson here is if you stand in your weeds too long you will be covered up in weeds. The weeds of life that can weigh you down and not allow you to see the beauty on the other side. One must change things, places, people, or overall surroundings in life to grow. To gain a new perspective. Matthew talks about how many times he does this in his book, although his shift ties to a wet dream. Mine does not! To grow beyond weeds is what I dream about. This is where the beauty lies. Beyond the weeds there are always things or people ready to bloom in one way or another.

Life is like a flower. It blooms among the weeds. It is then taken from the weeds to be sold to somebody to nurture and enjoy. The beauty within the weeds sprouted and lived its best life on your kitchen table because some flower farmer took the time to bring this beauty (flower) to you.

Sort of a weird lesson from the book to my life to the flower but funny thing is, flowers are part of my dream. My future. My beyond the weeds. Follow @3splitzfarm on Instagram to watch my flower farm bring joy from the weeds to others.

Do you ever get covered in the weeds of life?

Do flowers make you smile like they do me?

Do you ever reset within your life to grow?

Wonder. Create. Repeat.

fitness and nutrition

Run Forrest Run

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Oh how I wish I was Forrest Gump some days. Like the days my gym programs a running workout or when my friends do a trail run. I’m just not a motivated distance runner. I’m more of a short sprint girl. 

Hill sprints off and on, no problem. 200 meters, no problem. 400 meters may push my limit. 800 meters just seems overwhelming on most days early in the morning when it’s dark out.

A few weeks ago I strolled into the gym at the wee hours of the morning or more specifically 6 am. A friend called out what are you doing here? It’s a running day she shouted. I giggled because I knew it and still showed up. I had my running shoes on instead of my CrossFit shoes. I felt prepared. I knew I wouldn’t do the run as prescribed for many reasons but I committed to walk/jog/run the entire time. Just keep moving, that was my goal. Lo and behold I did it and felt accomplished.

I had a week off for spring break so I missed the next running segment. Of course I didn’t care because most know I am not an avid runner. Then today came. Another running day. Do I even go to the gym because I could run at my house or the park? Unfortunately, I know I won’t so I go to the gym for accountability and my routine. Sure I was tired. Sure I was not excited about running, but I somehow put my mind to it.

This time was different. We had three options today. Mostly the options had to do with pacing. Meaning I run a lot slower than a 22 year old guy thus I could elect to run for the same time he would and not worry about my distance per se. This was brilliant for me. I didn’t feel discouraged for me slower and I still got my rest time allowing me to maintain my pace.

I got to choose my path or route outside. I had a set run time and off time. I chipped away at the task. I even enjoyed it. Partly because of my music selection but nonetheless this was a big win for me. I even opted for hill sprints for my last 45 second sets. The picture above was snapped for me to hold on to. First I am confident I can do this workout again and improve my pace and distance. Second it’s a starting point for me to say I came back to running this way. 

Who knows where my running will take me now but just a few years ago I was able to run a half marathon. That may be ambitious today but everyone starts somewhere. Today I’m celebrating my little run progress and the fact I enjoyed it.

challenges, dare to be different

Experience

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I recently gave up control to gain control amidst a new experience as a parent. Sometimes we need to go with the flow and trust the process to encourage learning. 

Learning through experience is extremely valuable in my book. The reason I state this is because books can teach us lessons but experiences allow us to live the lesson. We need both to understand how to navigate our complicated world.

As a young adult one must fail. Sometimes repeatedly. As sad as it is, it’s part of living experience. Living may be different than what was learned in a book. For instance they may teach you in school how to balance your bank statement but they may not drill an available balance on an atm receipt. This experience may be valuable to find out about insufficient funds.

Financial experience is super important. Many young adults know how to use Apple Pay or Venmo but can’t write a check. Many don’t know how to properly address and mail an envelope. These are cherished skills I learned early on that seem to be the distant past yet young people need this skills to solve problems when the digital age isn’t functioning at 100%.

Farm life is another experience. One I was exposed to as a youngster but not one I embraced. However today I see the value of the experience a farm can provide. Hard work. What nature can provide. So many transferable skills can be learned on a farm. Oddly enough farming 101 isn’t a high school requirement. Neither is basic auto maintenance. Additionally, life skills 101 really isn’t a class either.

My blog today is about what we have to do to nuture those around us. The young kids. Our kids. Children who lack resources to give these basic foundations. We may need to offer experiences to others. Coaching of sorts. Non traditional opportunities for as many as one can impact.

Another experience is sitting down with an elderly person. Chatting with them. Listening to stories about their youth. Learning about what life was like without an iPad. Without dual income households. It’s an experience many need to have.

Today I want you to think about experience. The word itself. What it means. How you can integrate experiences to those around you.

For me, I grew up as an athlete. I understand a team dynamic. However many adults I know missed this experience. They lack certain competitive components or teaming characteristics. That’s a teaching opportunity. Similarly that non-athlete may be able to pass on another experience to you that you missed along the way.

In the next 30 days I am going to think about the word experience and see how I can impact others or how I can be impacted by absorbing new knowledge via an experience. Most recently I learned about camping through experiences. Some good. Some not so good. I still learned and observed through the experience.

Now I am off to experience my life some more.

adventure, fitness and nutrition, friendship

The Season Is Over

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My first tennis season in the senior league (over 50) is over. Done. Finished. Kaput. Five weeks went by fast and I learned so much this time around. Maybe I was ripe for learning. Maybe it was a good stress reliever. Maybe it was just good timing.

Nonetheless my partner and I lost every match, but we worked together and achieved our goals for the season. We won a game. We won her serve. We made it to deuce many times. We won single games. We won multiple games, but never a match. We took a tennis lesson. We learned to work together. We had fun. We exercised together. We even had a cheering section for some matches.

It was my partner’s first tennis experience. She never served or knew how to score in tennis. She didn’t even have a racquet. From the start she learned. She adapted. She got better. She faced her fear of not wanting to try. She was a great partner for me this season. She can look back at herself and I say look what I did now. And what a great feeling it is for me to know I encouraged her the same way another encouraged me. 

We met some people we never would have met before had we not joined tennis. We traveled to some neighborhoods that were new to us. We played in the cold. We played in pollen-filled spring air. I’m pretty sure my eyes looked like I was crying in the last match however it was really all the pollen that was getting to me. We heard some great comments from seasoned players. Just keep playing. The more you play the better you will get. Ya’ll are doing great. 

Lo and behold we signed up again for the next season. It is not the senior league this time around so we shall see how the new adventure goes. For now I will remember this season as my first in the golden years age group. Where teams don’t physically move as much but they are well trained to place the ball where you just can’t hit it back. I guess that’s what I like about tennis. No two games are the same. No opponents are the same. The weather is never the same. 

You just show up. Do your best. Win or lose, you live on. Pretty simple way to get some fitness in for a day. I can happy that my body allows me to step onto the court each week to play again. Some don’t have that ability. I treasure the fact that I can compete at any level.