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One Question

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“When was the last time you felt really good?”

“Oh, I feel good most days…”

“No, I mean when did you feel REALLY good?”

She stared, wonderingly. I paused. And with that sincere look, the dam inside me broke.

We’ve talked on the blog before about menopause. I am in the midst of this process. My body and mind are changing. Many days, my body is a mystery to me. I will spare you many of the uglier details, but I’ll just say that my weight is up and my energy is down…and many other things are all over the place.

Last year, I went to see a new doctor. I was already feeling some of these changes and had heard from friends who were finding relief using a wide range of interventions. I went with high hopes of finding someone who would listen and help me feel better. Unfortunately, my request for help was dismissed with a “we don’t really do anything but treat the symptoms” and a little packet of vitamins to try. The whole visit lasted 15 minutes. I was frustrated and just sad.

It took almost a year of regrouping and searching before I found another doctor to try. After reading advice and the experiences of others, I decided to find a Functional Medicine practitioner. And with her first question, as well as the follow up request for a sincere answer, I knew I found the right person.

She spent almost 45 minutes just talking with and listening to me. We talked about a huge range of health and lifestyle topics. How I take care of myself, what my challenges are, my day-to-day life, and so on. And now it’s about testing and data and planning and figuring things out. It will be a long series of tests and trials, but I am on a path to, hopefully, feeling REALLY good once again.

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Shared Rides

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I was on a recent trip to a smaller-sized town with not too much to do, yet I wanted to get some exercise in while exploring. I couldn’t pack my bike for the trip thus I was a little disappointed. However the town ride share came to the rescue.

For a $3.00 fee you could unlock the bike at one of the area spots and use it for an hour or $1.00 more if you wanted to cruise beyond the initial hour. Cool concept. Easy access once you downloaded their app and paid your fee. Having this option available was key to me exploring a couple of days.

I got to see a pretty sunset. I got to see a snake on my path. I shared smiles with many I passed along the way. The snake I will say I was glad to see while on a bike vs .walking. I got to see a little about the people in the town while I cruised around too. Some visiting. Some were homeless finding resting spots not far off the trails. Just an alternate way of seeing a new place.

While on this same trip I happened to notice a large concentration of vans, box trucks and trucks in a mall parking lot. Out in the distance from where one may park to go into the mall. This got my curiosity up. Was somebody renting parking spaces? What was this fluid truck concept? See photo above. Why it was another form of ride share. Clearly not a bike yet equally purposeful to some I’m sure. Myself included. As a business owner I need to rent trucks from time to time. The ride share concept of grab-and-go is not only affordable but the ease of access seems far more appealing than your traditional Penske or U-haul type rental place.

My mind is always wandering and exploring when I’m in new places. You never know what value you may find hidden just beyond your normal landscape or routine. Keep your options open to discover and explore no matter where you are. Small towns might be more savvy than meets the eye.Just a girl on adventures choosing to share some tidbits with the world here and there. Hope you enjoyed this random post about bikes and trucks. It’s funny since I also wrote about rail travel not too long ago as well. Guess it’s travel season for this girl.

I also like to include photos when I can in a post. This sign was a new one for me. It was located just after a stop sign on the bike path. Clearly the warning sign was appropriate for the upcoming terrain yet it was funny to see a stop sign and this distinct slanted warning sign. It was accurate though.

As an added fun fact, I have opted to ride a bike on many rail trails. Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Utah, Colorado, Oregon, Ohio, Florida, and a few other states. The majority of these trails are flat which I like but I learned on this trip they can also encompass inclines. I am going to have to make it a point to hit some new states by bike.

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The Support Role

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Recently I got a chance to reflect on a few variations of those in supportive roles and the value of such roles.

At my recent competition two families had young adults supporting their parents at the competition. They could have done other things but they instead chose the supportive role. It meant a lot to the participants and it reconfirmed the already strong bond between young adults/parents. The value of this support can’t be overlooked.

Then there was the photographer at the event. The unpaid position that captured amazing moments for many who couldn’t take their own photos because they were in action. This support role provided joy to some and a replay of efforts for those who like to take note of good or bad points in their performance. A job nobody really signs up for but everyone wants the benefits of.

The concession stand worker at the local sporting event. An unpaid job. One that takes a person away from maybe watching their own kid or socializing with other parents. The last job anyone really wants to volunteer for. Yet despite the lack of participation on the volunteer side, many are ready to buy, eat and complain if things are not perfect. Thus the concession stand volunteer is the unsung hero. The thankless support role.

The parent. The guide. The nuturerer. The lecturer. The disciplinarian. The enforcer. The constant support role. Despite the importance of the role, it’s probably the bottom of the food chain on any given day. The volunteer role that comes with no instructions. 

When I sit back and think about any support role, I think of thankless jobs. I think of how we should all be more grateful to others who give time to any support role. A coach, for example. The food pantry helper. The people who help put smiles on the faces of others because of the support they give.

Take a look at your day. Your week. Your environment. How many supporters do you have around you? Have you thanked them lately? Do you in turn support others?

I recently went to cheer on a friend for a tennis match. It was a new vantage point. For me as an observer, it was a fun time to just watch and cheer for another. It meant something to the person that asked me to attend and thus made the time worth it. Supporting others can can be rewarding for both parties. 

I think years ago I was less supportive as an individual than I am today. In time I have matured to focus on others before self. The fact that I write about this confirms my growth in this area. It also implies my intent to help others realize the benefits of supporting others. Give it a try. 

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Last First or First Last

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I’m in the last first or first last of many things with my youngest child. The caboose of the family. The last first hurdle to adulthood. The last year of high school. Life with a senior. The to-do list is so very long yet I feel like I will blink and the time will be gone. Memories will remain but the chaos I once enjoyed will now be all hers. Soaring solo or just without mom and dad. Why does it seem harder with a girl? With an athlete?

Last first trip of summer.

Last first flight for the season.

Last first summer tournament.

Last first parking lot adventure.

First last event.

First last adventure.

First summer job to juggle in the mix.

First of many solo flights to new places.

Last first trip to Baltimore, Maryland. I certainly won’t miss the rental car hub in this town. The long bus ride. The long lines. Just won’t mind missing this destination each summer. I’ll gladly trade this spot for a tropical paradise. That means as she finishes her last firsts, I begin to see how my new firsts will come to light without the have to’s of summers on the go with kids.

First of many goodbyes to players and families we have spent years traveling with. Those we even see at the events from other states. Some girls have trips that conflict with the hectic summer schedule. Some have changed their priorities from sports to other interests. Some have jobs that won’t give time off for travel. Most of the girls will go different ways their last year of high school and then to different colleges. Some may never really be social again. While others may be new besties. So many emotions. So many changes on the horizon. So interesting to observe.

Wrapping up one journey. Starting many new firsts as you end many last firsts. I knew these days were coming yet I had no idea what each would feel like. This last first was a little gut punch. Each meal seemed different. Each car ride the chats seemed more forward-focused. I had no idea how the experiences would be different. A coach summed it up today with: Take the picture. Smile for the picture. Celebrate. Have fun. Both kids and parents should savor this time before it’s history. These moments won’t be here again. Enjoy this time.

The girls look older this summer. More womanly. Experienced in ways I can’t explain but it carries to their gait. To their spoken words. To their plans ahead. The conversations have changed from what college to who their perfect roommate will be. What the dorm room decor will be. Where they must travel to for spring break. What they need to do solo on their final summer. I can’t lie. It’s fun to watch. It’s an experience I will cherish.

What powerful words to think about. 18 years of building. 18 years of momentum. Then what? A shift. A realignment of sorts. I have one foot on gas and one foot on the brake. I want to freeze time yet I want to speed up time to see what’s next. It’s not my life but I’m still going to be cheering. I’ll also still be there ready to wash the stinky socks. Pack food for the dorm room. And just whatever is asked of me. Because I still want to be a part of the chaos.

To explain life in this moment is hard. However as part of being honest in posting for our readers it’s a part of life worth sharing. A raw part but one experience I share that may be helpful to another approaching this stage of life. My mini me is almost grown up. She has definitely glowed up. Now just needs to get some independent experiences under her belt to be ready to conquer adulthood.

That first job.

That first paycheck.

That first time spending her money. It hits a little differently. That item might really not be worth it for their money now. I am sure she doesn’t see the view I see and that’s okay. One day she will be in my shoes. For now I’m looking forward to exploring my wide open spaces while I see her enjoy her new spaces and places.

Stay tuned as my months ahead turn into days left before she is off. I’m leaving the journal pages blank for now. Waiting to see what fits in and makes the story book.

friendship, Uncategorized

The Day the Music Died

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It was music that bonded us.

One of the ways I volunteered for my daughters’ high school sports teams was to be their announcer. I didn’t mind being on the mic as many others do. Over time, as we would travel around to watch at other stadiums, we added touches to make the game experience more fun at home. One of these was a great playlist. I had been a DJ in college as well as a multi-instrument musician, so I loved doing this. But it was honestly too much to manage between music and announcing the game. I was so grateful when one of the moms on the team texted me in the early part of junior year, asking if I would mind if her husband come up and play music during the game. What a relief!

He made an instant impact on the game experience with his wise, witty, wonderful music choices. This man, a busy professional, constant volunteer, and dedicated family man, had taken the time to think through choices that would enhance the game experience and make the fans and players happy. A little thing that made a big difference. As an avid playlist maker myself, I loved it.

I didn’t really know him all that well before he came up and took that spot next to me in the booth. Off the field, he struck me as a truly solid friend and family man who always had a smile on his face and an affable spring in his step. On the field, I respected him…he had coached my daughter several times and was an uncanny balance of demanding and supportive. In one of my earliest memories of him, he pulled me aside one night on the rooftop of a random hotel as all the team parents socialized around a bonfire on one of those many summer club season trips. He told me how to help my daughter achieve her dreams. Totally unprompted, he came forward with advice and counsel just because he liked to help and encourage the girls he coached and cared about. Him in a nutshell.

Over the years we spent side by side in the booth, we shared many moments of elation, frustration, puzzlement, and awe as our daughters and their teammates took on opponents.

We also shared many laughs as we tried to match songs to the situations on the field. All were funny…even as some were borderline cheeky or a little inappropriate. All the “rain” and “storm” songs we would play to an empty stadium while on a lightning delay. The songs abut waiting while the refs had long discussions about calls. Special songs for different girls on the team. Songs about shots, misses, winning, etc. It was like a little game of name that tune. A sing along we had in the press box. Taking turns to see if we could name the artists and titles. Who could think of a song to match the situation. Dancing in our seats. It was the music that bonded us. And the love for the sport, the team, and our daughters.

He is gone now. Murdered in a senseless act of violence. The void he has left impacts many.

As I miss him, thoughts of him come to me in songs all the time. When I am working out, listening on my drive….there will be a line and boom I think of him. I often smile as my eyes well with tears, thinking of those who miss him and the legacy of service he leaves behind. Cheers to ordinary heroes and the moments they make in the lives of many. We miss you, my friend.

… Kudos, my hero
Leavin’ all the mess
You know my hero
The one that’s on

… There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary.

-Foo Fighters

Cheers to ordinary heroes and the moments they make in the lives of many. We miss you, my friend.