challenges, fitness and nutrition

Summer Surprise

This summer I got a big surprise!

A red cast on my dominant arm covering my thumb following my forearm until two fingers from elbow. Talk about a major inconvenience for a busy girl. Brushing teeth now becomes a big effort. Just squeezing out the toothpaste and unscrewing the top of the tube is hard.

Reframing life in an instant is hard. Cutting up foods is not safe all of the sudden. Teaching yourself to eat with a fork in your non-dominant hand is comical and messy to say the least. Missing out on fun with friends is a big bummer, too. I figured I’d take this time to scribble my woes so I could giggle about them later. I do love a good reflection post.

My google search term has been “how to remove a fiberglass cast at home” on more than one occasion and that’s just within the first 24 hours. Pretty sad I know. I feel trapped in this thing. Sweating isn’t fun at all in a cast, but neither is showering. When I mentioned the toothpaste above I wasn’t kidding. However that is easier than soap in the shower, shampoo or even shaving. The list of oh craps could continue for a good bit.

The pickle I wanted from the jar today was soul crushing. The simple twist required sweat to drip from my eyebrow! I did find a good use for the cast at the grocery store…. Lining the plastic bags on the cast to carry to the car. It was like a coat rack for groceries. I did also break a nail at the grocery. That was just another item to log here as a big sigh moment.

The questions you get are also comical. Did you break your arm? No I casted myself for attention and inconvenience. I wish I was that talented or creative. The reality is I suffered an injury and the doc says the cast will help me heal. Time will tell.

My thumb is what I miss the most. From the selfie-pushing finger to gripping of the mouse for your computer. The thumb is what I miss the most. That thumb can grab your clothes when you dress.  It’s just a crucial piece of your day and you miss it when it’s not available.

Want to test drive what it feels like to be me sidelined, go a few hours without your dominant hand and thumb. It won’t be fun. Rather, it will be humbling. Of course you need to try all the hard things required to live each day.

Life is real. Some days it’s adventures. Some days it’s heartaches. Today it’s just hard.

And a bra is really the hardest part of my day at the moment. It’s very much a love hate relationship, use your imagination.

anonymous letters, friendship

Gone But Not Forgotten

I miss my best buddy. Every last little detail of our relationship.

The days at the gym seem lonely and just empty knowing you are not near. Our Wordle battle of the minds is now a checklist instead of a morning challenge.  The work days bring another level of hollow to my soul. I miss your goofy snaps. Losing that human connection is just as devastating.

Life is full of craziness. Life can keep you busy. Life can let you miss the fine details of how much your value the presence of an individual. When suddenly they are gone it hits you like a ton of bricks. Maybe even it feels like a Mack truck ran you over a couple of times. An unexplained weakness.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Take the pictures. Capture the smiles. Make the memories and do crazy shit while you can. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. Treasure today. It’s that simple. Luckily I have a photo reel but what about those who don’t?

I’m in a fog while I adjust to my new normal. It’s not much fun. It could be far worse I know. For now I breathe deeply as I give myself grace. I close my eyes and hope for peace around my valued circle. Then I cling to hope that one day I’ll be back to funny snaps, silly photos and adventures. It may look different when that time comes but I’ll hold on to the hope of it all.

One day.

Some day.

Not today.

That day is not today. That day is someday. Hope tells me it’s one day.

As I reflect on my loss I reflect at the same time on what I still have. How to show appreciation for what is in front of me. What I can control. The rest of my energy will seek hope for that day on the horizon.

As an Irish girl on St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll try to find luck today to offset the sadness. Not sure a scratch card will do the trick so maybe toast or shot will be a better honor for my buddy that I miss.