Tag: lifelessons

challenges, family

A Letter to My Daughter

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She is strong.

She is smart.

She is persistent.

She is determined.

She is generally reserved with her feelings, but on this day, she called filled with frustration. Her new schedule brought unexpected challenges. Things that were once easy were impossibly hard. Huge classes, hard to get around. Too much to take care of, not enough time and energy. All this after the patience and persistence and hard work finally got her to the place she had wanted to be for so long. It had been different at her previous school the year before. She hadn’t expected to be happy there. But now, finally settling in at the school of her dreams, instead of happily ever after, she was met with one annoying plot twist after another.

What’s a mom to do? When you can’t be there? When you can’t just make her dinner or sit with her on the couch? Mostly, I just listened. I let her share how hard things were right now. With classes, with meeting people, with time management. With little things like eating well and parking and taking care of her dog. I gave any advice I could. Mainly, just keep going. Get up and try your best every day. It will get better.

She was calmer when we hung up. But I was shaken. I was sad. I couldn’t sleep well as I was thinking about her.

When I stopped pretending to sleep in the morning, after my workout and getting to work early, I sat outside and wrote her a letter. Page after page poured out. More mom advice and reminding her who she is. That girl I wrote about at the top of this piece. And how she is never alone.

Think of your future self, I told her. What will make your future self proud? In 5 years, will you be happy you kept going and gave it your best or that you gave up when it was hard?

I think about my future self all the time. When I don’t feel like meal prepping for the week, I know my future self will appreciate healthy food so I push through my laziness. Same with setting out my clothes for the next day, going to the gym, and a million other little decisions I make. I do it to make my future self happy, proud, or even just to make her life a little easier. A little planning, a little forethought, and life just goes better.

In a couple of days, things seemed to be a little better. We all have those rough patches. Maybe it’s a day, a week, or even longer. Pick up the phone and share it. Let people listen and help give you a little perspective and wisdom. The people who love you don’t want you to suffer, and definitely not suffer alone. Finally, things have a way of getting better with time. Believe it.

adventure

NYC and the US Open

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The US Open 2023 in New York City. What an amazing experience it was. From the moment I entered the event to the moment I left I was in awe. As a friend said to me, the Open will just not be the same moving forward on TV after being here in person. True statement.

Let’s start with this photo. Equal prize money. Enough said. Coco earned it! But as I reflect on my day at the Open, I can’t not talk about wheelchair tennis. Amazing to watch in person. The strength and focus required to serve. The tenacity and grit to roll and hit a ball on one side of the court and immediately shuffle to the opposite side for the next. It’s fantastic to see up close. The facial expressions. The sounds. The celebrations but also the defeats. I was was watching juniors on this day making it more powerful given the age and maturity of these athletes. Made me want to do better in all things I do daily without those limitations.

Of course I needed to share the street art as well. Capturing NYC, its culture and the sport of tennis all in one. Now back to the details of the event. Thank you American Express for your hospitality area and all the cool things to do as part of the fan experience.

A little digital glow tennis. A shoe cleaning station. Some freebie sunscreen. Free customization on your keepsake items. Free charging station which was a midday must for me. An air conditioned hang out space to refresh and recharge. A terrace view of some tennis for lay people to try new racquets. Maybe even some time to sip on one of the fabulous Open cocktails. The Honey Deuce was a fan favorite by far. The commemorative glass with the historical title wins was an added bonus. The iced version was an amazing cool down in the moment as well. They even had fancy straws to take home with cleaning brushes in a nice straw sack. Again thank you American Express. You did sponsor the event well.

I couldn’t not write about the cryo facial that American Express offered its cardholders. A special perk that was well worth it. A first for me but it definitely won’t be a last. If you haven’t tried a cryo facial, you should! And one last big win for American Express: free use of radios. Show your card and pick up a little radio for your ear attached to a lanyard for easy on/off use. A great way to hear up-to-the-minute commentator words amongst the roars of the crowd. One ear on the radio. One ear on the live crowd.

The matches in the Arthur Ashe Stadium were action packed. Of course I was cheering for Coco who ultimately took home the title but being there I cheered for all the amazing efforts and winning points on both sides. We even sat through a one hour delay during the Gauff match thanks to fossil fuel protestors. One of which glued their feet to the ground. I can’t even make that story line up. The ambiance within the stadium was awesome. The open ceiling. The neon lights. The game clock. The stats board. The serve speeds. The people. The fans. The reactions. All of it! An A-plus experience.

I hope I have the chance to be a super tennis fan again in the future. Whether it’s the is Open or another big event I will be first to say yes to the experience. I traveled with a new group this time around. I had a blast. We were bonded by love for tennis and our adventurous spirits. Find your people. Expand your horizons. Try something new. Go. Go. Go. Don’t let fear hold you back from enjoyment.

That’s my Open story. Women’s semi-finals. September 7, 2023. I was part of Coco Gauff’s history making. Feeling lucky to have been there. Proud of all the tennis Coco played to make it to the top!

awareness, hustle

The List of Three

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One day she was asked to make a list of three. Unplanned assignment. Thought required. Time was limited for the response. The gut answered.

The list boiled down to three simple words. 

Commitment.

Consistency.

Prioritizing.

Each can be applied to life and self daily. Committing to self. Committing to goals. Consistently working on self. Consistently working towards goals. Prioritizing what is important to self. Prioritizing life to mesh with all of the above.

At times these three words can work for you. At times these words can work against you, if you let them. Perspective is important in life. Everyone has their own perspective or view. Sometimes we need to show others a new perspective to foster growth. Sometimes no effort is needed as your modeling of those three words show themselves in life. 

If you had a list of three words what would they be? Why would your gut spit those words out? What do they mean to you?

For her, it seems she is hyper-focused on her short term goals. These require commitment, consistency and prioritization daily. I do believe that is why her gut answered with these three words. However these words have depth. They go beyond her initial short term goals. Rather they are staples in her every day life. 

Sometimes she may get off track in life and need to refocus. Realign priorities. Recommit to something. Practice consistently doing what needs to be done to achieve a, b and c.

Life.

Words.

Actions.

In life she chooses words that have actions. She chooses actions that have meanings to her. She also take actions without hesitation. Sometimes she may stumble. Sometimes she may shine. Either way she is writing her story and living it each day. Some days you get an up front seat. Some days you don’t.

I am her. 

My action words for the purpose of this post are undoubtedly:

Commitment.

Consistency.

Prioritizing.

As I close out this post I can say each of these action words are helping me reach my next milestone. Where will your three words take you?

business, challenges

3 am Oh No

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The alarm was set for a hair past 3 am on a Tuesday. A 6 am meeting didn’t seem so early when I put it on the calendar. Then I had to calculate the drive the time. The get ready time. The wake time. The cushion time to build in. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

To say I was dreading the alarm clock was an understatement. However, I got up like a champ. Now I thought I was up and alert but clearly I wasn’t. My first uh oh was putting on my shoes. I had picked out black pants and silky striped shirt. I was matching my shoes to the stripe in the shirt. I had a plan. Then I sat down to put on the shoes and realized my pants were not just black. Rather the pants had a baby blue square-like check pattern. Holy cow. I would have absolutely not matched. In fact I would have clashed.

Good thing I had time to make a quick change and save myself some embarrassment.

Now I am off on the highway. Munching on my snack I packed, jamming to some music. Little did I know I would be listening to Pickle Jar Patrick! Why he is the up all night funny DJ that sounds like boundless energy coming through my car speakers. Why can’t I just bottle his energy through my speakers?

I pass through the major metropolitan downtown area on the highway. Several lanes normally packed to no end, yet they seem desolate at 3 am. What a difference a little time makes in a day. Normally I sleep through the quiet in suburbia but today I was on the road alone. Enjoying the scenery in a different light or should I say darkness.

As if I thought my morning would continue peacefully I was wrong. My go to Starbucks wasn’t opening until 6 am so I was going to go without my rocket fuel for this morning. I opted to pull into the gas station for a leg stretch and a quick map check. Oh my car needs a software update. I have a few extra minutes, let me do that…

Little did I know it takes a little longer than I anticipated and my car is well let’s just say dead in the water while I waited. The minutes seem like hours. Over 20 minutes and I should have been thinking how long it would take when the console message said I could exit the car. My brain just wasn’t awake yet. All the preparation to get to where I needed to be on time seemed like a waste because my sleepyhead self said yes to a software upgrade mid trip. Who does that? 

Thank you Jesus. The upgrade completed and I could continue to my destination. Oh wait, a new feature in my car is discovered. Flashing lights under my rear view mirror and an odd alarm. I can’t make this up. I had to stop my in tracks to figure out how to solve my problem. I shut off the car. Waited and started again. Thankfully the alarm subsided and I was on the way, again.

With moments to spare, I arrived. A little flustered, but ready to put on my business smile to slay the day. Next time I’ll think twice before meeting at 6 am. I am just too old for these early morning encounters without coffee.

adventure

Hike Inn

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How far will you go to stay somewhere truly unique?

What if fitness is part of the admission fee? Could you pay it? Would you?

The Len Foote Hike Inn is one of 9 backcountry inns in the US. It’s only reachable (for guests) by a 5 mile hike near the start of the Appalachian Trail. After having it on my adventure list for years, my youngest daughter and I finally made the trek earlier this spring.

How remote is the Hike Inn? It’s a little bit of roughing it, but not too bad. You have a room with mattresses, clean sheets and blankets. Two hot meals are prepared for you each day, served family style, with an option for a third trail lunch. There are dorm-style shared hot showers and composting toilets that don’t smell bad (but do come with a draft!) There are rocking chairs, board games, and books about the outdoors galore. There is peace.

When you are at the Inn, you’re encouraged to stay off of your phone, aside from taking photos. There is cell service (all the way up the trail, too!) But really, the atmosphere invites you to connect with nature and other people.

My daughter brought up fond memories of going to camp as we sat on our bunk beds. When the dinner bell rang, we joined the long table and sat next to two volunteers. An older couple, they served food, cleared plates, and gregariously talked about their commitment to volunteering at the Inn. They come up for a weekend every few months. For a couple of hours of work, you get a free stay at the Inn and a shirt.

The stay with my daughter was memorable. Relaxing. She beat me at board games. She paced me up the trail. We talked and talked and talked some more. It may have been the most we’ve talked since my days of driving her to high school or traveling together for club lacrosse. It’s amazing what long stretches of uninterrupted time together can do. The words and insights just keep spilling out. It turned out to be a rainy and cold weekend, so the sad part was missing the sunrise. Something to look forward to next time.

It didn’t take me long to join the volunteer corps at the Inn. It took many months to actually find a day when my schedule allowed me to go. Sadly, I didn’t have my girl along this time. She was already away at college. Although still beautiful, the hike is much longer when you do it alone! Yes, of course it is the same length, but I missed her company. My room was bigger and had a fan (which was desperately needed on the hot weekend I chose.) I also had power in my room and my own bathroom and shower, which was awesome.

I got a shirt and the chance to work with the cook and other employees. This turned out to be more fun than I thought it might. Setting tables, serving food, doing dishes, putting things away…after years in a restaurant, it all felt easy and not taxing. Unlike the weekend with my daughter, there were no children this weekend at the Inn. There was one group of 12 moms on a girls weekend, then a few other smaller groups of friends. It was quite easy and relaxing.

The Inn is a special place. My youngest and I have talked about trying to hike to all the backcountry inns in the US. But for just a quick getaway, this one is just far enough away to restore and renew me.