Tag: family

adventure

Yellowstone

2chicksandapen

It’s November and I am on the road for an adventure trip out west. Wyoming, Idaho and Montana to be specific. The vast open land of the United States was the destination to explore.

Snow had made a little presence in the area before I arrived and some was on the forecast horizon. However, not enough to say it’s time to ski and not enough to fuss about. With that in mind I assumed business would be as usual in the areas. Little did I know.

Yellstone National Park for instance closed all but its north gate from November through December 15th for vehicle traffic. On 12/15 the only vehicles allowed are snow-equipped vehicles that mostly do tours of the park. Oddly enough you need nature to provide the snow too. I am sure there are many reasons for the closure of the gates to the south and the west, etc. Safety. Limited resources for plowing and sanding miles of roadways. The list could go on.

The downside of this is mountain towns are ghost towns. Shops, eateries, service businesses, etc. are closed for the season. As in until spring of 2024. I had a million questions about how businesses survived, where the proprietors go during these shutdowns. Just overall crazy to me.

But I did meet some cool workers at the few places who stay open year round. The fishing store guy. He was a wealth of information. He stays open to take calls and reservations for the busy season. Smart! The coffee barista who is also the ski rental girl and the bike rental girl and the retail store attendant. A jack of all trades. A free spirit who willingly shared her adventurous spirit and knowledge of the area.

This led me to a remarkable quest. Bike riding into the west entrance of Yellowstone National park in chilly 30 degree temperatures. An amazing experience that I will cherish in my memory bank. Picturesque scenery. Desolated roads made it seem like the park was just mine for a day. The quiet of the day allowing me to hear all of the sounds of nature. The anticipation of seeing a bison cross my path. All of it.

Snow under my tires. Ice at times. Thicker in spots but then sunny and dry pavement in other areas. The fresh air was clean and crisp. A little cold at times but then warmth hit in the break of the trees when the sun shined through. Mile after mile of peace and tranquility. I pedaled and enjoyed the ambiance in the air.

About 8 miles from the bike shop to the 7 mile bridge. About 1.5 hours with pit stops for absolutely stunning photos. Rolling alongside a river for a few of those miles was another level of awesome. Hearing the current hit rocks or logs showed the power of the flow. Seeing the fresh and clear mountain water was a reminder of how precious our land is. Observing nature. Being present in the environment. It was a great way to exercise.

From paw prints in the snow to animal droppings on the road. Suspense was lurking around each bend. A wolf? A bear? A deer? A bison? An elk? The options of wildlife were abundant. An experience worth my time. Unplanned yet unprecedented. While many may shy away from a non-peak travel time, I actually enjoyed the emptiness. It felt like my own private playground for miles and miles.

This particular trek had me starting in Montana while working my way into Wyoming. Two more states added to my biking list. I enjoyed it so much I’m planning my next ride to Idaho in a few days on a rail trail should the weather permit my excursion.

So many views of the mountains. Just above the tall pines. Between breaks in trees the white caps of the mountains shined bright. Pictures don’t even come close to magnifying the beauty of the lived experience. However sharing these photos may spark an interest for you to travel or learn about Yellowstone: the national park not the television series.

Enjoy. 

adventure, celebrations

Holidays Smolidays

2chicksandapen

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful. I am so thankful for my life. The shortcomings. The high points. The people. My friends. My family. My pets. My coworkers. All of it.

I may reflect on my thankfulness differently than others. I don’t need to share my feelings through food nor see somebody in person to let them know they are valued. This year I reflected from a remote location. I was up early before the sunrise. Not to cook but to reflect. It was important to me. I opted for video or text messages to send reminders of value others play in my life. Non traditional, yes. Heartfelt, yes. Memorable, I think so.

My way of celebrating is my way. Family gatherings often end with stressful bickering or binge eating and food comas. No thanks. I’m carving out time for a hike this year. Some peaceful time in nature. Breathing fresh air. Listening to birds chirp. Avoiding chaos. I’m eating simple turkey breast and sides. Easy peasy. No rush. No fluff. No stress. Easy cleanup. I’m letting my adult kids choose how they celebrate. They appreciate this. They don’t want to be forced to attend a required gathering. Just keeping in simple.

When I look back over the past five Thanksgivings, I have traveled out of state for four out of five. There is a pattern. Avoid the conflict, chaos and disappointment. The latter being the worst. Not being able to go everywhere you are invited. Letting somebody down. It’s a tough cross to bear, but an invitation is just that. An invitation to join xyz. It’s not a requirement. If a host doesn’t feel comfortable in their own house, that’s added stress to host. That’s so puzzling to me. I just wouldn’t do it. Not worth it to me. 

I’ve read many articles online this year about Dear Abby, my son-in-law is a pig. Nobody wants him at the family functions. Dear Abby, my daughter-in-law has no manners. Her etiquette is not becoming of her. Dear Abby, my mother is not nice to my husband and it makes the meal table very stressful. So many variations of people being unhappy and losing sight of thankfulness.

I choose non-traditional. I don’t like to confirm to norms. I like to set new traditions and reinvent those experiences with a little flair thereafter. Is that wrong? Am I harming anyone? Am I choosing happy my way? How fun is it to go to a new destination and see how others celebrate? How about volunteering for the homeless and making their day? So many options. 

I prefer paper plates and easy cleanup. No fine china at my turkey day table or other major holiday. I prefer Friendsgiving or gatherings of such. The ones where everyone brings their favorite dish to share. The ones where people focus on what they liked about their standard traditions vs. all the must dos. 

I’m in shorts and slippers today. Nothing fancy. Just me. Comfortably dressed as I gorge myself. No uncomfortable dress up to be presentable to others. My holidays are full of options. The destination may differ. The food may be shaken up. The company may vary as well. That’s part of the fun.

However you celebrate Thanksgiving and other holidays, be thankful. Be thankful for your life, your health and your ability to be present. The latter being most important. Your presence can be virtually in some instances because you are a present to those receiving the message no matter how it’s delivered and really you can’t be everywhere at the same time. You have to improvise. 

I’m also okay with knowing that as I age I may chose solitude. I may choose to reflect alone. That’s my choice. I hope when and if that day comes, my kids understand. If I’m not able to travel or run a race on turkey day I may need to find my peace in my own way. Time will tell. Of course, I’ll probably write about it, too.

To all those who frown on this post, more power to you. I won’t hold it against you, rather it will be motivating for me. I will choose to enjoy my peace more to bank some peacefulness for you. 

Happy turkey day and smolidays to come from this finicky old gal with an independent mindset just tossing this rant out to the world. This post is also coming out after Thanksgiving as it may hit a little different after you had your actual Thanksgiving celebration or shit show.

Football

Parades 

Food

Shopping

Chaos

Embrace your celebration style as I do mine.

perspective, working women

A Womanly Week

2chicksandapen

It’s been a week for the record books in more ways than one. I wasn’t sure I’d write about the week but then decided it could be valuable to another thus I opted to share away. And keep in mind this is a snapshot in time of a woman in her 50’s. Not her 20’s.

There were fluctuations in body temperatures. It seemed I’d been hot in the middle of the night. Not able to sleep peacefully. Maybe even sweaty at times. Cold during the day. Bundling up as if it was much colder outside than it actually was. Did anyone else suffer these same symptoms in my home? Nope. Did I look crazy? A bit. Was I sick? No. Well there you have it, my irregular cycle appeared. That in itself explains so much yet so little. This is part of my stage of life that is summed up as absolute fuckery.

The angry phase hit more than once this week. The shortness of patience was ever so present. The general irritability was constant. The need for space from people was daily. All of it. Mid life crisis at its best. Emotional roller coaster. High and lows. So much blah. There was push back from some around me. There was silence from others. Neither I’m fond of, but neither is experiencing my loads. Therefore those who don’t walk in my shoes cannot judge me.

Then there are the outlets. I ran some this week. I don’t care so much for running yet running seemed to free my mind from all the excess baggage it had this week. This is mental baggage. Not even the physical baggage associated with bloated in the stomach area or just inflammation in general from the craziness of an irregular cycle. Writing such as this is therapy as well. Settling my thoughts to find some method of the chaos. Whether I publish or not, I write.

Then I read an article about working women. All that a woman is expected to do and bear the title of mom on top of it. Big sigh. Yet nobody refers to a dad as a working dad. Such an irony. Thinking about this on top of everything else at times put me over the edge. Women get the short end of the stick. Balancing work / life / parenting while maintaining a household. Doctor appointments, medicine pick ups, school conferences, and and and.  Many dads go off to work and just focus on a singular task for the day. Women have fireworks going off by the minute in contrast.

Running helped me this week. Going to the gym was a godsend. I might have performed the best I had in a while. Not sure the main reason for that but it was the outlet that was needed for me. Lift heavy shit. Run alone. Life is heavy in this season of life. Many can’t relate to one’s highs and lows thus lifting heavy shit helps me cope. Running on the other hand let’s me breathe the air. Recycle the airflow from within.

All of the above enabling me to deal with the stupidity of others. Giving me patience to watch others make mistakes. Showing grace when I literally want to dope slap somebody. And then there is the big one. Swallowing my pride when others crumble. I want to help many. It can be most difficult to watch one crumble or fold in front of you. It’s hard but sometimes it’s a needed step for others to grow despite it killing you a bit inside.

All while the above was circulating my week, there were also nightmares. Very distressing nightmares specific to immediate family members. Had one come to fruition I would be a basket case. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. However, it was a rude awakening of what could be. Why did I have these flashes and not the ones most directly impacted?

Whatever the reason, I had to feel all of that amidst my sleep which was already erratic. My days became longer. My wakes became harder. My time became less productive. My mind raced all the time. My week was summed up as unsettling.

The good news is I’m still here. I’m refocused to a certain extent. I’m ready for a scenery break to fully reset my mind and body. Don’t ever underestimate the change in surroundings. It’s often said you become what you surround yourself with. Success breeds success. In order to grow or shift out of a funk of any kind you need to pivot. Step away from the ordinary to experience variety.

Make sure you have a slush fund of sorts for your mid life crisis moments. Maybe it’s a new pair of shoes you splurge on. Maybe it’s a weekend away. Maybe it’s a trip of a lifetime. Maybe it’s just a cute pair of earrings you always wanted. Heck you may even want a sexy photo shoot.

Just do it. It’s self care. Therapy. The headaches, heartaches and shit will still be where you left it when you come back. I promise. The shit pile doesn’t go away. The break just helps you look at the shit a little differently. Life is all about perspective.

My perspective sucked most of this week. A little fresh air. Some pampering. Time away from annoying people. Socializing and exercising with people who share my fit lifestyle all helped in my reset. I slept a little sounder last night. I appreciate my life a little more today.

I am that girl working through this mid life crisis mess. Some days are easy. Some are not. Some weeks seem fun. Others seem ever so long. I’m not alone. Many struggle. Many women struggle. I’m writing today to say it’s okay. Whatever stage or phase you are in, you will push through it. It may be bumpy at time but that’s life.

Women are designed to endure.

Women are extremely strong.

Women make the world go round.

I’m convinced.

challenges, family

A Letter to My Daughter

2chicksandapen

She is strong.

She is smart.

She is persistent.

She is determined.

She is generally reserved with her feelings, but on this day, she called filled with frustration. Her new schedule brought unexpected challenges. Things that were once easy were impossibly hard. Huge classes, hard to get around. Too much to take care of, not enough time and energy. All this after the patience and persistence and hard work finally got her to the place she had wanted to be for so long. It had been different at her previous school the year before. She hadn’t expected to be happy there. But now, finally settling in at the school of her dreams, instead of happily ever after, she was met with one annoying plot twist after another.

What’s a mom to do? When you can’t be there? When you can’t just make her dinner or sit with her on the couch? Mostly, I just listened. I let her share how hard things were right now. With classes, with meeting people, with time management. With little things like eating well and parking and taking care of her dog. I gave any advice I could. Mainly, just keep going. Get up and try your best every day. It will get better.

She was calmer when we hung up. But I was shaken. I was sad. I couldn’t sleep well as I was thinking about her.

When I stopped pretending to sleep in the morning, after my workout and getting to work early, I sat outside and wrote her a letter. Page after page poured out. More mom advice and reminding her who she is. That girl I wrote about at the top of this piece. And how she is never alone.

Think of your future self, I told her. What will make your future self proud? In 5 years, will you be happy you kept going and gave it your best or that you gave up when it was hard?

I think about my future self all the time. When I don’t feel like meal prepping for the week, I know my future self will appreciate healthy food so I push through my laziness. Same with setting out my clothes for the next day, going to the gym, and a million other little decisions I make. I do it to make my future self happy, proud, or even just to make her life a little easier. A little planning, a little forethought, and life just goes better.

In a couple of days, things seemed to be a little better. We all have those rough patches. Maybe it’s a day, a week, or even longer. Pick up the phone and share it. Let people listen and help give you a little perspective and wisdom. The people who love you don’t want you to suffer, and definitely not suffer alone. Finally, things have a way of getting better with time. Believe it.

adventure

Hike Inn

2chicksandapen

How far will you go to stay somewhere truly unique?

What if fitness is part of the admission fee? Could you pay it? Would you?

The Len Foote Hike Inn is one of 9 backcountry inns in the US. It’s only reachable (for guests) by a 5 mile hike near the start of the Appalachian Trail. After having it on my adventure list for years, my youngest daughter and I finally made the trek earlier this spring.

How remote is the Hike Inn? It’s a little bit of roughing it, but not too bad. You have a room with mattresses, clean sheets and blankets. Two hot meals are prepared for you each day, served family style, with an option for a third trail lunch. There are dorm-style shared hot showers and composting toilets that don’t smell bad (but do come with a draft!) There are rocking chairs, board games, and books about the outdoors galore. There is peace.

When you are at the Inn, you’re encouraged to stay off of your phone, aside from taking photos. There is cell service (all the way up the trail, too!) But really, the atmosphere invites you to connect with nature and other people.

My daughter brought up fond memories of going to camp as we sat on our bunk beds. When the dinner bell rang, we joined the long table and sat next to two volunteers. An older couple, they served food, cleared plates, and gregariously talked about their commitment to volunteering at the Inn. They come up for a weekend every few months. For a couple of hours of work, you get a free stay at the Inn and a shirt.

The stay with my daughter was memorable. Relaxing. She beat me at board games. She paced me up the trail. We talked and talked and talked some more. It may have been the most we’ve talked since my days of driving her to high school or traveling together for club lacrosse. It’s amazing what long stretches of uninterrupted time together can do. The words and insights just keep spilling out. It turned out to be a rainy and cold weekend, so the sad part was missing the sunrise. Something to look forward to next time.

It didn’t take me long to join the volunteer corps at the Inn. It took many months to actually find a day when my schedule allowed me to go. Sadly, I didn’t have my girl along this time. She was already away at college. Although still beautiful, the hike is much longer when you do it alone! Yes, of course it is the same length, but I missed her company. My room was bigger and had a fan (which was desperately needed on the hot weekend I chose.) I also had power in my room and my own bathroom and shower, which was awesome.

I got a shirt and the chance to work with the cook and other employees. This turned out to be more fun than I thought it might. Setting tables, serving food, doing dishes, putting things away…after years in a restaurant, it all felt easy and not taxing. Unlike the weekend with my daughter, there were no children this weekend at the Inn. There was one group of 12 moms on a girls weekend, then a few other smaller groups of friends. It was quite easy and relaxing.

The Inn is a special place. My youngest and I have talked about trying to hike to all the backcountry inns in the US. But for just a quick getaway, this one is just far enough away to restore and renew me.