Category: family

family, Uncategorized

Pinch Me!

2chicksandapen

Really, I need to feel the pinch. Now!

I’m really here. The caboose is off to college. Out the door she goes. A little empty feeling floats through the air at home as I wonder how her first sleep will be in a new place with new people. Her new family. Oh how I know the sun is shining on her new horizon which makes me happy and at peace.

Our journey to this point has been long as an athlete. A different decision making process for college in itself. Physical preparations amidst your regular college prep to do list. Maybe even a longer wait for the big day since you commit to your school almost a year or more before traditional students. Lots of shopping for that first apartment. The colors. The materials. The personality of the room. The common space decisions. What budget? She needs it all! I soaked in the whole experience from start to finish.the basic space below must be transformed.

Then the day arrives. A few nerves the night before. A little sweat to move in. Maybe a little stress making the first dorm room a home. Gelling with new housemates. Settling into a routine. A new life. A big future. From the plain dorm shell to a vibrant room ready to make memories in. One semester at a time.

Off she goes.

Off I go.

Two new chapters being written. 

Life is beautiful at each stage. Living the moments with others is cool. Sharing my experience virtually with my mom was a blessing. Having her see her granddaughter launch into a new chapter. So very different than my mom’s chapter back in the 1950’s. Such a great reflection for all.

Smiling big as I close out this post thinking about how my role shifts to cheerleader from a far. A mom and her girl. Grown and flown.

challenges, family

A Letter to My Daughter

2chicksandapen

She is strong.

She is smart.

She is persistent.

She is determined.

She is generally reserved with her feelings, but on this day, she called filled with frustration. Her new schedule brought unexpected challenges. Things that were once easy were impossibly hard. Huge classes, hard to get around. Too much to take care of, not enough time and energy. All this after the patience and persistence and hard work finally got her to the place she had wanted to be for so long. It had been different at her previous school the year before. She hadn’t expected to be happy there. But now, finally settling in at the school of her dreams, instead of happily ever after, she was met with one annoying plot twist after another.

What’s a mom to do? When you can’t be there? When you can’t just make her dinner or sit with her on the couch? Mostly, I just listened. I let her share how hard things were right now. With classes, with meeting people, with time management. With little things like eating well and parking and taking care of her dog. I gave any advice I could. Mainly, just keep going. Get up and try your best every day. It will get better.

She was calmer when we hung up. But I was shaken. I was sad. I couldn’t sleep well as I was thinking about her.

When I stopped pretending to sleep in the morning, after my workout and getting to work early, I sat outside and wrote her a letter. Page after page poured out. More mom advice and reminding her who she is. That girl I wrote about at the top of this piece. And how she is never alone.

Think of your future self, I told her. What will make your future self proud? In 5 years, will you be happy you kept going and gave it your best or that you gave up when it was hard?

I think about my future self all the time. When I don’t feel like meal prepping for the week, I know my future self will appreciate healthy food so I push through my laziness. Same with setting out my clothes for the next day, going to the gym, and a million other little decisions I make. I do it to make my future self happy, proud, or even just to make her life a little easier. A little planning, a little forethought, and life just goes better.

In a couple of days, things seemed to be a little better. We all have those rough patches. Maybe it’s a day, a week, or even longer. Pick up the phone and share it. Let people listen and help give you a little perspective and wisdom. The people who love you don’t want you to suffer, and definitely not suffer alone. Finally, things have a way of getting better with time. Believe it.

family, mental health

The Cruelest Month

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“April is the cruelest month.”

Maybe it is for T. S. Eliot. But for me, the cruelest month is July.

You might think I’d love July, really. It’s the heart of summer, and I am a teacher. Pool days and party nights, right? But these days, we go back to start a new school year in July, so the turn of the calendar brings a bit of dread. But even more so, July haunts me with bad memories.

It starts with the Tour de France, which usually kicks off in the first few days of July. The Tour was a big deal each year of my youth. Long before the days of streaming video, my dad and brother would get up in the middle of the night to watch the race. Throughout the month of July, it was always on in our house…if not the live stage, a recap or rerun or highlight show. Probably not surprisingly, I eventually developed a fascination with Lance Armstrong and the US Postal team (and the other teams he rode for.) Many a summer hour was spent watching the peloton float through the French countryside.

The family love for the Tour and its fanfare was eventually overshadowed by grief.

July is the month when I lost both of my parents. When I got the call that my mother’s short illness had ended, I had the Tour de France on my TV as I got ready to go over and sit at her bedside for my daily ritual. Four years later, the very same week, when I stood by my father’s bedside as he took his last breaths, the Tour de France was on the hospital TV.

These anniversaries are ones I carry in my heart. Some years I almost forget them. But then, more often than not, my heart gets heavy. Deep sighs erupt from out of the blue. Even when my brain is protecting me from sadness, my body remembers.

If only I could put a sign on my forehead….or pin a little note like Paddington Bear had: “July hurts. Take it easy on me.” Life doesn’t work like that. On any given day, plenty of people around me are suffering. When someone snaps at me for no reason, I have to assume their hearts are troubled for reasons that likely have little to do with me.

So I guess it’s no wonder when the Tour de France ads come on, my heart starts to sink. And most years it remains sunk through all the hard and sad anniversaries of July. The heat and heartache can sap whatever energy I have. It sneaks up on me sometimes, but when I remember I know to be patient with myself and just keep going. Eventually August will come.

family

Sunday Funday

2chicksandapen

The light at the end of the tunnel. The journey to the tunnel and everything in between is what I call the fun spot. The cool adventure that I had with some special people in Andrews, North Carolina on a Sunday funday outing.

A rail ride. A little self-propelled. A little power assisted. Just a cute little concept that fuses new technology and old equipment creating a fun adventure for those willing to give it a go. A fairly simple concept or build out, but one you don’t see everywhere. On this day I traveled with my mom who is 83 years young. It’s harder for her to see the outdoors these days. Especially off the beaten path due to mobility issues as she ages. This ride was perfect for her but also for me.

The scents of the blooming flowers. The fresh cut grass. The various scenic views. The mist in air at times. The wind in your face. The sun beating on you between the trees: the experience of nature. Fast. Slow. Giggles galore. Many photos taken. Many memories made. Cow sightings. So much exploration packed into a two hour tour of 5 miles or so each way to the tunnel. We had the perfect weather. The best attitude for adventure. Great tour guides and railroad crossing guards.

A little break for a snack and exploring in the tunnel or by the stream. Such a fun experience to share. No detail was missed. If you are ever in Andrews, North Carolina I would definitely recommend this experience as a fun afternoon with family. Four to a cart. All physical abilities can make it work. That might be something I just find important to share. An enjoyable day away that meets the need of all abilities.

We planned ahead and packed a lunch for after our ride. It was a perfect ending to our outing. Munchies at a nearby picnic area. Set nicely by a stream with beautiful blooming flowers to add to the ambience. Two thumbs up for this girl. This is a family-owned business and they clearly take pride in their operation. Give them a look if you are in the area. Heck make it a day trip. 

This post is dedicated to the gorgeous lady in the black hat pictured above. For she turns 84 today. Glad she checked another adventure off the bucket list this year.

family, TBH Doodle Gang

Honey Honey

2chicksandapen

Her name is honey.

She has the prettiest eyes.

She loves naps and chew toys.

She has arrived at her new home.

She has acclimated with her sisters from other misters (aka Teddie and Bear). She now completes the trio known as the TBH Doodle Gang. There is nothing better than a girl gang, if I do say so myself.

Day one was a little shock for my existing two pups. Day two the newest addition learned to assert herself and make her place in the pack. We welcomed some sunshine to the week allowing lots of play in the yard which created a safe place to get to know each other in a less intimidating environment for the newcomer. 

The older two staked their spots at bedtime and watched closely to the attention the little one receives. Fair and consistent is the name of the game for this doodle trio. They are extremely observant and definitely let you know if they felt less catered to. I of course think all ladies should have that presence and self-awareness. Heck maybe they get it from me!

We have had car adventures. We visited friends at the pet store. We picked up mail at the post office. We met the vet. We sniffed the snout of a Great Dane whose head is bigger than Honey’s whole body. We went to the park and a barbecue. We spent Easter with Grandma. We even sleep pretty good at night. We can safely say we covered socializing.

We have listened to cars, trucks, birds, barks, and felt the wind in our face. Our initial environmental experiences have been received well. Grass, pavement, carpet, hardwoods, so many foot feelings. Now it’s time for some separation training, crate training, and mastering the name Honey and alerting of potty time.

Spent some time unsupervised or in open play and didn’t destroy again which is a major plus. Now it’s time to watch this baby doodle grow up.