friendship

The Friend Zone, Part 1

This post could go in many directions and maybe it will be a series, but for now you will get entry level friend zone, aka post one.

Conflicts: every friendship has conflict. No two people will ever see eye-to-eye on every subject every day.

Strength: the strength of a friendship can be defined by how conflicts are resolved. Are two parties able to sort through differences and find compromise or do friends divide because one side is too stubborn?

Diversity: friendship diversity is important in my world. No one friend can be a one stop shop for me. I need diversity. It’s part of my own self-development. I choose to surround myself with people who make me stronger, people who push my limits, people who I can help, people who I can lean on, and so on. Diversity ties into balance.

Balance: balancing friendships, families, conflicts, life, and so on may seem like a full time job some days. Having a diverse group of friends can be helpful. If you are struggling professionally, you may have a shoulder to lean on. If you are challenged on the home front, you may have a different friend to lean on. Balance has benefits.

Leaning back: when you lean on someone, trust builds. When your friend hits a bump in their road, your trust factor will help them feel comfortable to reach out to you in a time of need. Leaning is highly desirable in a friend circle and leaning should always be a give-and-take cycle to be healthy.

Non-competitive: friends that get it right are non-competitive. They don’t fight for stage presence. They coexist. They want the best for each other. Selfless behavior can be hard to come by. When you find this in a friend, hold it tight. It’s precious. And unfortunately you may have to weed through some bad friends to find the diamonds in the crowd.

Givers and takers: in life there are both givers and takers. Some may give big and some may give small. It doesn’t matter, you can easily spot a giver. Time, loyalty, and and a soul-satisfying sense of self when giving is present. A taker is one who takes advantage of a person over and over again, usually for self- promotion. This you can see from a distance if you pay attention, but it’s harder to see if you are in the muck of it on the daily.

Take a look at your friend circle. How does your circle stack up? Are you a giver or maybe a taker? Do you compromise or are you always in the right? Is balance and diversity important to you?

This post doesn’t necessarily represent any individuals in my circle. Rather, it’s general observations of the circles I have witnessed over time and their common denominators.

My posts are my thoughts and always up for interpretation. My hope for this post is that it makes you stop and think about your environment. Is it quality or quantity of friends that you value? Have you found your people? Do you have any missed friendships you should try to rekindle?

Until next time.

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