official – 2 Chicks and a blog

It was a sunshiny day just after spring hit the air. A routine trip to the ball field for the third time this week to watch a game. It seemed like such a mom / dad thing to do after a workday. Then the phone chirps. It’s a Snapchat and another friend was at the ball field. Different sport. Different age group. Different gender. A weekday at the ball field was not for just me. It seems like a regular occurrence to run into friends and acquaintances any time one is at the ball field.

On this day at the field the restroom visit was required. No toilet paper. Seems to be expected. The bleachers were the next stop. The gentleman next to me noted, geez they need to power wash this place it’s disgusting. I glanced around a bit. Maybe 60% seemed to be female and 40% seemed to be male in the crowd. Maybe 50 people were in attendance. All in their own conversations. Many talking about others nearby. Sometimes in a less flattering way.

Then the match began. The heckling began. The obnoxious fans ran their mouths from both teams. Gasps were taken by some. Feet were stomped by others. Some raised their hand wide as if they were speaking to a large crowd. But no. Most times they spoke to themselves or those who heard them but didn’t listen. It’s so funny to observe actions at the ball field amidst competition.

It was just another day at the ball field. Parents squeaking about play time or bad coaching. Players dancing at half time. Mispronounced names on the announcements at the start of the game. This time around their were no concessions so they’re might have been a few cranky siblings complaining about no sugary treats. I supposed that was a missed fundraising opportunity for the hosting team.

Most of the energy was focused on the loud and annoying teens that showed up late to the game. They heckled the players. They even chose to bark. An interesting barking sound. Loud screams were mixed in. Shouting towards the referees for calling against the home team. I must circle back to the barking noises. They were very odd and distracting for me and I was a good bit away. I can only imagine how the players felt that were nearby.

A day at the ball field. It’s something everyone should experience. From the age of 4-6 to middle school to high school and of course college. The sports may be the same but the audience can surely impact a game. These days sports seem different than when I was younger. I had more fun, less pressure and a stronger desire to grow as a player and teammate. These days kids seem to be strung up on perfection. Parents want highlight reels. Coaches want wins without looking at how to build character and teammates.

One should really attend a game at the ball field where you know nobody. Listen to what goes on in the stands. Observe the coaching or lack thereof. Watch. See if leaders emerge on the field. Listen to how teammates speak to each other. See how hostile spectators are who are doing their best to officiate the game.

A day at the ball field. It can be as interesting as a day of people watching at the airport. Just stop, look and listen to what’s around. Maybe one will learn how to behave better at their own kid’s event. Who knows.

Just an observation post to think about.

“If you ever get lost or need help, look for someone with a name tag or uniform on.”

These are the words we told our kids at places like Disney World when they were little, just in case. People in uniforms should be able to help.

I’m an avid sports parent. I love to show up and watch my daughters play, no matter the sport, no matter the team. I even try to go cheer for them when they are coaching or officiating games. Both of my daughters are refs for girls lacrosse.

Recently, one of my daughters had the honor of officiating youth championship games. I showed up to watch her in action. Hundreds of little kids, googles falling off, uniforms that don’t quite fit on their tiny bodies, all trying to get the hang of a sport I love, it brought back so many good memories. Games on Saturdays. Cheering for your team. Trophies and snacks after the game. And my daughter, once a youth player, now the ref.

Being a ref is not for the faint of heart. I know my attitude toward refs changed when my older daughter became one. Suddenly the heckling from the fans and coaches felt very personal. Why are they attacking her? Do they really think she is being paid by one team to make those calls? Don’t they know she’s a human and can hear their nasty insults? And if she can’t, I can?

My daughters each have very different personalities but they exude a cool, calm confidence on the field. They address irrational adults when necessary. It seems it is always the adults, very rarely the players who are ill-behaved. Unfortunately, bad behavior by at least a couple of adults is more the rule than the exception at these games.

In the end, though, it’s about the players. I remind them that the little girls are looking up to them. They are learning how to be fair. How to accept small setbacks like fouls and share the wins with their team. They are learning how to lead from a girl like them, just a few years further down the road.

I also tell them that some of the best refs are also teachers. Each of my daughters has almost a decade of field playing on their resume. They often know much more about the game than the coaches and spectators. So when a young high school team kept making the same fouls over and over, my daughter offered to demonstrate ways to prevent getting those fouls. They share knowledge and grow the game.

It’s a proud mama moment for sure, to see my girls nurture young players through their role. I cheer for the refs.

Before the championships, I called my youngest over to the fence for a quick pregame chat and picture. A minute later, a little girl, goggles half off, uniform all askew, came up and got her attention. My daughter walked her to the stands, helped her find her parents, then waited by the fence until her dad returned from the car. The little girl needed a jacket during warm ups.

I love that this little girl still thought to ask someone in uniform to help her. Despite what some adults might tell you, the ref is there to help.

Tag: official

The Ball Field

A Girl in Uniform