Tag: character

challenges

Vouch

2chicksandapen

Imagine a tough set of circumstances land you in an unimaginable spot. You’re surrounded by challenges. Even lies. A smear campaign. What do you do? Who can you lean on?

Character. At the school where I work, we tell our students that character is what you do when no one is looking. When there is no one around, are you still who you say you are when others are listening? Do you do the right thing when no one will know or keep score?

I was recently reminded that character is also what you do every day when you are just living. It is how you show up in work and in life. Are you dependable? Are you honest? Respectful? Responsible?

Every day we are each establishing a track record. A pattern. From the moment we wake up until we lay our heads down at night. Every action matters. The old saying goes, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Sure, it’s not infallible and we all go through changes. But every day we are creating our path. Reinforcing who we are with what we do, what we say, and how we choose to spend our energies.

Think about the people closest to you. That may mean the people in your family. Or the people who spend the most time with, whether by choice or by force. How would you all describe one another? If someone had to give your eulogy, what would they say? If they had to complete a job recommendation, would they speak of you favorably? Are you living up to the ideals you set for yourself? If there was a line of people who spend a lot of time with you, how would they describe you? In a pinch, who would vouch for you?

Take a step back. Look at yourself. Your actions. Your choices. Even the little ones. Character is the accumulation of the everyday that becomes the picture of who we are. How will you be known and remembered?

challenges

Losing Sucks

2chicksandapen

Normally I will tell you losing builds character and provides opportunity to grow. That’s what I would say to a team that I coach who lost a game they put their heart and souls into. That’s what I would say to an individual I was personally coaching to get that next big job only to get passed over on a technicality. That’s what I would tell myself when I lose a tennis match, l that I really wanted to win. That’s my positive Polly personality.

However, I just get pissed when it’s a business related loss. If I lose a contract due to political connections, I stomp my feet. If I lose out on a property purchase because a good old boy squeezed another $5k into a deal, I pout a little. If I get passed over due to my gender vs. my qualifications on an opportunity my nostrils flair. The list goes on and on, but it happens because losing is part of life and business. It doesn’t make it easy, but it reality.

In 2022, I faced loss more than once in various facets of life. It’s a tiny loss each time, but the hurt runs deep. It’s a feeling that scratches my soul. In order to win in these situations I either have to compromise my ethics or play nice in a sandbox with people I would never play with on any playground. Either way you look at it, the end is the same. Lose and move on pissed or play dirty.

Look pretty. Play dirty. Should I? Should I not? Sending out a virtual middle finger to the collective group that undermined me today. May karma come your way one day. In this instance I rolled my dice and played a little dirty but not full on dirty. Just wanted get the win I suppose. Until next time may we all play like a little girl in mud pile while acting like a grown up in a manly business world. Why not look pretty but be willing to get a little dirty. Dirt washes off you know. Getting dirty once in a while keeps you young spirit intact.