Confession time: I am a klutz in the gym. OK, actually I am a klutz anywhere, but it seems to be more noticeable in the gym. Or maybe the bruises are just more obvious evidence and reminders.
First, there were the bruises from learning how to do power cleans. I’d clock myself in the area under my neck, leaving a nice big quarter-sized bruise.
Then, there were the shoulder bruises that clean-and-jerks left when I slammed the dumbbell too hard in transition.
The chin bruises are their own special kind. I may have a permanent lump from doing jumping pull-ups and barely getting my chin over the bar, then hitting it as I quickly came down.
Two other scary ones happened on the chin, too. The first was on my birthday. During the workout and we were racing to do as many shoulder-to-overheads as we could in a short amount of time. We had to break up the sets too. It’s hard to explain, but doing them quickly kept me from having to do more burpees or box jumps or something else ugly. Anyway, one time I cleaned the barbell to my shoulders and then pushed it up as hard as I could, which was great except that my chin was in the way. I smacked myself so hard I saw stars. Thankfully I put the bar down safely and regrouped but what a bruise that was.
The final one I’ll share here was a huge lesson learned (and truly cements my mega-klutz-with-a-side-of-airhead status). In a hotel gym they had a large rack of balls of different sizes. I thought to myself, great, I can do some slam balls. So, I grab one of the bigger ones, lift it over my head, then slam it as hard as I can to the ground. Of course, as you can likely predict, it was not a 20-pound slam ball, but just an inflated hard bouncy ball. It bounced with force and hit me on the chin where again, I saw stars. The lesson here is: first, test new equipment. Second, don’t do new movements in the gym when you are by yourself. I seriously could have knocked myself out.
I love working out, I really do, and my body is capable of way more than I thought possible. But deep inside, I’m still the little girl who perpetually wore bandaids on her skinned-up knees, Dad calling me “Grace” in jest of his stumbly, klutzy, accident-prone daughter. Hope it made you giggle, or shake your head, or some of you maybe feel a little less alone in your clumsy.