It had been a rough day. The kind of day where you’re shuffling online files, trimming, uploading, then re-editing, reuploading in different places, and so on. I spent the afternoon chasing my tail, making no progress.
Finally, I walked away from a project that I had spent hours trying to figure out. I was just too frustrated to finish. It could wait until morning.
I gathered my things and loaded my shoulders with all my bags and other stuff, ready for the relief of an afternoon bike ride, then looked down.
W. T. F.
I looked closer.
?!?!?!
A scaly knot on my floor. Curled up. I touched it with my boot and sure enough it slithered.
Again, W T ACTUAL F.
SQUEAL.
Mind starts pinballing. Heart racing. How do I get it out of here?
Custodians are gone for the day. Don’t have access to a broom and dustpan. I can’t just leave it here. IT’S. IN. MY. OFFICE.
I find a bowl and set it on top of the slithering striped shoelace. Then I walk calmly down to see if a couple of my “country”-type colleagues are still here. Nope, already headed home.
So, it’s just me. And the scaly shoelace IN MY OFFICE.
I had to pace to gather my courage. I finally picked up the bowl and there it was, my little sworn enemy. And just like that I
STOMPED
STOMPED
STOMPED
And screamed DIE.
DIE.
DIE.
Stop. Was it dead? (Poke).
NO.
STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP.
DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE.
And finally, I stopped, looked, and it was still.
Scooped it up with a file folder and dumped it in the woods. I was hyperventilating-ugly-crying-nose-running awful. So hard to calm down.
Then the what ifs? crept in. I was in my office with a snake for who knows how long. What if I had been bitten? Or someone else? Too much to think about. Just be grateful it wasn’t worse.
You might be surprised to read that I like snakes. Well “like” might be too strong…I’ll just say as I’ve gotten older I understand their role. I know many of them are good and I just work around them when I see them on the farm. It’s me living in their habitat not the other way around.
Maybe that’s why it was so upsetting to find one IN. MY. OFFICE.
It can’t just slither under the rocks and disappear. It was a showdown. She or me.
Yes, I killed it and it made me sort of sad on top of the other huge knot of emotions. I was a little less sad when I found out it was poisonous, but again relieved it had not been worse.
I wondered, how did it get here? Was it born here? Are there more around the corner? Or is a farm varmint trying to stowaway for a quick vacation? More under the car seat? I’m still on the lookout.
Thank goodness I chose boots over Birkenstocks that day.
Just another animal adventure to add to the growing list.
